Joe Biden spoke — or more accurately, mumbled and slurred a series of run-on sentences — at a campaign event in Pennsylvania, April 17. He had just returned from the Scranton Veterans Memorial Park, where his late uncle Ambrose J. Finnegan Jr.’s name is reportedly listed on a memorial wall.

It instantly became obvious why his handlers panic every time the befuddled geezer stumbles outside on his own and begins babbling – as for the first time anywhere, he revealed that cannibals ate his Uncle Bosey.

“And my uncle, they called him Ambrose, then Brosey. They called him Bosey. My Uncle Bosey. He’s a hell of an athlete, they tell me, when he was a kid.

“And he became an Army Air Corps member before the Air Force came along. He flew those single-engine planes as reconnaissance over war zones. And he got shot down in New Guinea. And, they never found the body, because there used to be, there are a lot of cannibals — for real — in that part of New Guinea.”

For real: Papua New Guinea is a country in Oceania that comprises the eastern half of the island of New Guinea and its offshore islands in Melanesia (a region of the southwestern Pacific Ocean north of Australia).

Also for real: We should pause momentarily to recall Air Corps pilot Uncle Bosey’s selfless sacrifice. He literally gave a lot for his country, life, and limb. Certainly limb, as detailed by nephew Joe.

The headlines generated by this “tasteless” new Biden family anecdote are, well, dramatic. Not to mention unbelievable. They rank right up there with:  “Corn Pop”, “I was raised by Puerto Ricans”, ”I drove an 18-wheeler”, “my dad was a coal miner”, “I was the first in my family to attend college”, “I marched in the Civil Rights movement”, “I visited Nelson Mandella in prison”, “kids at the pool liked to rub the hair on my legs”,  and on and on, and on.

“Let’s roast , ‘er toast, good ‘ole Uncle Bosey!”

This time some curious reporters actually thought to contact a source, the New Guineans, to find out what they thought about their countrymen being accused of chowing down on the Leader of the Free World’s uncle.

The Associated Press and Reuters both report that folks there were not amused by Biden’s tale of his Uncle Bosey, particularly Papua New Guinea Prime Minister James Marape. He indignantly responded saying his nation does not deserve to be labeled a land of cannibals.

The Biden comment is the gift that keeps giving for comedians. Jordan Klepper from “The Daily Show,” chimed in asking: “Would a cannibal even eat people out of a wreckage? I mean, that’s like their version of eating roadkill.”

Locally the notorious Fat Men from Space, who are currently on the prowl hereabouts seeking the best hamburger in Nassau County, were thoroughly confused after hearing Biden’s account of his late uncle. They have been debriefed and advised against ordering any menu item labeled: “Bosey Burger.”

They also were warned against using the phrase: “Take me to your leader, I’m hungry”. Politicians – they were told – particularly those in D.C., are never on the menu because, like clowns, they taste funny.

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Speaking Of Politicians & Food: The Republican Party of Nassau County will host its 2024 Lincoln Day Dinner on Saturday, May 18, 2024, at the Courtyard by Marriott Amelia Island, 2700-1 Atlanta Ave. The event will feature many local, state, and federal officials including US Senator Rick Scott (featured speaker), US Representative Aaron Bean, Florida Secretary of State Cord Byrd, State Senator Clay Yarborough, and State Representative Dean Black.

Doors will open at 5:30 p.m. with a reception and networking until 6:30 p.m. A cash bar will be available during the event. Business casual attire is suggested.

Tickets to the event are $150 each (plus a $12 handling fee), and may be purchased at the following link: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/nassau-county-republican-party-lincoln-day-dinner-tickets-877731798437

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Meanwhile Back At The Democrat Ranch Following Iran’s missile and drone attack on Israel UK Daily Mail, columnist Andrew Neil, asked a question Americans should be asking: “If so many weapons of destruction had rained down on Britain, would we be listening to those urging caution, nodding at such sage advice, and agreeing that it would probably be best for all concerned if we just sat on our hands? I suggest that any UK government which went along with that would quickly be driven from power.” Think Pearl Harbor and the Twin Towers folks.

Unfortunately there are citizens, such as the criminally insane and traitorous Democrat Congressional Squad members IIlan Omar, Rashida Tlaib, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, and Pramila Jayapal, that think like the Hitler Brown Shirts or the Hitler Youth Corps while preparing for and encouraging a series of U.S. Kristallnachts.

While Israel, a democratic state that respects human rights and is defending itself against designated terrorist group Hamas, Biden urges it to call for a ceasefire. “Ceasefire” is Biden’s technical term for “surrender” during which Hamas will he be rewarded with a Palestinian state while it regroups and rearms. Think Afghanistan and the Taliban.

Hamas has publicly boasted it wants to slaughter Jews and wipe Israel off the face of the Earth. It even says that in its charter. These crazed psychotic maniacs have publicly boasted that they would repeat October 7 “over again and again.”  Yet, absurdly, Israelis are the ones being accused of genocide.

Noted attorney Alan Dershowitz blasted pro-Hamas protesters, particularly those at Ivy League schools Monday, April 22, comparing them to “young Hitler Youth.”

Referring to the college professors and students participating in the antisemitic campus scream fests Dershowitz  asked: “What if this were a gang of Ku Klux Klan white supremacists and racists, who were calling for the raping of women, black women, or for the lynching of black men? For the return of apartheid to South Africa?”

The appallingly disgusting Senate Majority leader Chuck Schumer calls for elections and regime change in Israel, while Biden and his bobbleheads nod in agreement. But they say nothing about regime change in Iran, the world’s major sponsor of death and terror. This would be like calling for Winston Churchill’s ouster and cheering Hitler’s Luftwaffe as it bombed England in World War II.

The only weapon Biden appears to have in his quiver is the word “Don’t”. It has proven ineffective repeatedly and he’s drawn so many red lines that he’s run out of paint.

The U.S. government is providing one-way tickets to illegal aliens to fly them all over the United States at tax payer expense. If it can do that then how about cranking up a few of those massive C5 transport planes and offering those campus and congressional loons chanting: “Death to America”, “Free Palestine”, “I am Hamas” and “Death to Jews” flights to Gaza. Those that take up the offer can hand over their hated U.S. passports once on the plane. How many would accept the free ride? Those that did would probably continue to demand that we, the U.S. tax payer, pay off their student loans.

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Drinking, Dining & Dancing: The Fat Men from space have submitted the first two of their many Nassau County hamburger reviews and so far the reports are appetizing with no serious complaints reported: Here they are:  

Surf burger with waffle fries

The Surf Restaurant & Bar, 3199 S Fletcher Ave, Fernandina Beach.  The Surf burger is a quality burger with a juicy thick meat patty for a reasonable $15. It comes with a side of waffle fries or cole slaw and the norms: lettuce, tomato, pickles, and red onion. The toppings were fresh and they were good. Diners have a choice of cheese for $1.50 extra.  I selected American. The cheese was melted, which I love. There’s nothing worse than ordering a cheeseburger and the cheese isn’t melted. The only complaint is the bun. A juicy thick burger like this needs a bun that doesn’t fall apart by the last few bites. By the end I needed and extra napkin or two.

T-Ray burger

T-Ray’s Burger Station,  202 South 8th St, Fernandina Beach. Decadence comes in all shapes and sizes. Consider a cheeseburger combo from T-Rays Burger Station, which tied for first, with the now shuttered Joe’s 2^nd Street Bistro in the last Fat Man competition in 2018. It’ll fill you with immense satisfaction and the feeling of: ” I might have bitten off more than I can chew, here!” At a mere $12.00 for the Big T Combo or $8.99 for the little T Combo. I’ll bet the folks lining up beginning at 11:00 o clock each day, Monday through Saturday must agree with this Fat Man or they wouldn’t be there. Sure, T-Rays is also known for the best fried shrimp and chicken and dumplins, (no “g”, it’s a local thing). It’s their burgers that keeps folks coming back. The combo’s come with a drink, plank-style fries and for a small upcharge you can get homemade onion rings too! Listen to this Fat Man, here’s some handy tips to get to the decadence goal line. First, a little T-Rays combo is all you need. The big one will require a couch shortly after consumption. You’ll feel like a python who’s swallowed the neighbor’s German Shepard.  Because a part of you wants to try the various fish sandwiches and shrimp platters (with three sides, mind you), dip your fries in their homemade tartar sauce. Sounds odd? Trust me, it’s like getting a hint of seafood with each fry. Decadence? You betcha! If you really want to be on the inside track, and skip the inevitable line out the door, order over the phone (904/261-6310) as they have a special dedicated register for you to pay when you arrive to pick up. This is one fine cheeseburger.

Wednesday Wing Ding Night is back at PJD’s Beer and Wine Garden (12  South 2nd Street, Fernandina Beach) with wings, fried chicken livers and fried gizzards being offered at the weekly Wednesday Wing Ding for folks that like a taste of conservative politics served alongside their beer and wine. For a $5 contribution folks can listen, chat, drink and munch until the fried stuff is gone or, if they’re liberals, their heads explode.  The 5-7:30 p.m. BS session at the back outside table puts a whole new blush on the word “casual” and opinions are provided free of charge. The wings are from Publix (the best in town) and the fried gizzards and livers from 1120 South 14the Street’s Big Al’s Chicken Shack. More about Big Al’s next week. I’m not too interested in wild animals unless they’re on my plate paired with a cold beer. That’s why the upcoming  Celebrate the Opening of the Beaches alongside the 15th Annual event Wild Amelia Nature Festival got my attention. The Nassau Board of County Commissioners announced this event will be held May 18^th from 10 am to 4 pm at Main Beach Park (32 N Fletcher Ave) in Fernandina Beach. This free function features: exhibits from the Wild Amelia Nature Festival, Isle of 8K Beach Run, Kids Zone; Touch-a-Truck; Skateboard Competition and Food Trucks and a Beer Garden. It will also feature live music by The Honey Badgers, which features County Commission Hupp Huppman. Special guests include Laid Back and The Liberty Blues Band. To learn more visit www.nassaufl2050.com.