This past Sunday the Florida Times-Union‘s Editor Frank Denton, who writes a weekly Sunday column, fell all over himself apologizing that his paper: “…did not reflect the reality that it is Caitlyn Jenner — not the former Bruce Jenner — appearing on the cover of Vanity Fair…”

According to Mr. Denton the FTU initially reported: “Bruce Jenner poses as Caitlyn Jenner for Vanity Fair’s July cover.” Mr. Denton apologized for that saying, “…her transition is now complete” and then went on to add “…we as journalists are learning a new perspective and even a new language to describe a phenomenon important to our society…”

Personally, I don’t give a rip if former Olympic athlete and gold medal winner Bruce Jenner has decided to stop doing push-ups to concentrate on wearing push-up bras. I don’t care if a person is a lesbian, gay, transgendered or bisexual or what they do to each other in or out of that closet they are fleeing. However, it did occur to me that folks having trouble snagging a Friday or Saturday night date might want to explore the bi-sexual concept, as it would probably increase their chances of success by 50 percent.

Mr. Denton, and others in his editorial department, seem to think that a group of crybabies — blacks, illegal aliens, single unwed mothers, etc. — dwell 24 hours a day on a presumed bias personally directed at them, ignoring the reality that most of us are too busy trying to support ourselves and our families to even think about them, let alone concentrate on destroying their lives. The other part of this reality is that we are getting sick and tired of dealing with their constant whining, while simultaneously paying their bills. And now Editor Denton wants to add the LGTB group to that “entitled” crowd.

The left-wing crowd is defining the “new normal” and west coast blogger Burt Prelutsky nailed it recently when he said that social conservatives are being derided as being on the wrong side of history simply because polls indicate that a majority of young people favor government-funded abortions, same-sex marriages and legalized drugs. “All it really shows,” he said, ” is how many millions of parents have stood idly by while the left-wing schools and media have turned their impressionable young brains into mush, convincing the young louts that being empty headed and non-judgmental is synonymous with being broad-minded.”

I am very tired of sanctimonious gas bags like FTU Editor Denton telling me what I should or should not think about this. And frankly, Frank, I’m as sick and tired of seeing tabloid magazine photos and articles about Bruce-Caitlyn Jenner in the grocery store check-out line as I am seeing stories about his/her boorish no-talent family of dysfunctional Kardashians.

Is there a movement for dim people’s rights too Frank? If so, there’s a charge you’re certainly qualified to lead as you’ve got a boat load of them in your editorial department; our federal, state and local government is crammed with them; Hollywood is overflowing; and the universities are staffed with them. Have at it!

Or how about white, Christian males and Jews? Now there’s a couple of groups of people that it is open season on for the left, late-night comedians, the Democrat party, and frothing–at-the-mouth-do-gooders and hate-mongers. Where are their advocates Mr. Denton? Even government statistics bear out the fact that even since 9/11, there have been more acts of violence and vandalism directed at Jews than at Muslims in America and, no doubt, far more verbal assaults on Christians.

How can a newspaper that is rapidly losing subscribers and advertisers, get any more ridiculous? I pay more than $400 a year for a subscription to this blather. Good grief! I think it’s time to reconsider one of my news sources.

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Will The City Commission Run Out Of Gass? Local attorney and perpetual thorn in the side of Fernandina Beach City Attorney Tammi Bach — Clinch Kavanaugh — has officially filed to run for the seat now held by Commissioner Pat Gass, and the voices in her head, who have publically stated that they represent the folks here who don’t vote and do not attend commission meetings. Mr. Kavanaugh, who will be Ms. Bach’s worst nightmare and who could make a very comfortable living just on law suits filed against the city, is an articulate and cantankerous character who certainly knows his way around city hall. The fact that he’s a seventh generation island native with many connections shouldn’t hurt his chances either. Mr. Kavanaugh and I don’t always agree on national issues, and his entry into the race will certainly make for a lively and colorful campaign. In most cases his nonpartisan local views are aligned with a strong local economy, a vibrant downtown, waterfront improvements, and more that I and many others do agree upon.

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Heeeeere’s Johnny! I am sure that sometime in the not too distant future we’ll see Fernandina Beach City Commissioner and Palace Saloon bartender Johnny Miller show up at a commission session wearing a Che Guevara t-shirt and a beanie hat with a little propeller on top as it appears he has been sitting next to Commissioner Pat Gass too long and some of the more frenzied voices in her head have transferred hosts and are now in full control of the far left barkeep’s thought processes.

Here are just a few recent examples:

• City Manager Search Firm: Commissioners Miller and Gass were the two dissenting votes on selecting a professional search agency to find a new city manager. We all know the votes cast by Ms. Gass lack logic or thought and most of her protestations are like those of a cackling hen with a quizzical look on its face as it tries to peck something to pieces. On this issue Mr. Miller said that he wanted city leadership to handle the process without outside help. He said that local citizens may have the time and expertise to help, while Commissioners Robin Lentz, Ed Boner and Tim Poynter said that hiring a new leader for the city required professional guidance and expertise. Commissioner Miller may have been influenced by one of his Palace customers who said “Hey Johnny, my cousin Guido in Newark knows a guy, who knows a guy, who does that kinda stuff…so whadaya say?”
• Rayonier, RockTenn & The Port: With Commissioner Miller its always Bambi versus Hitler. With last Tuesday’s session packed to overflowing including many who stood in the heat in front of City Hall,  among them many Rayonier and RockTenn employees concerned about losing their companies property rights and jobs on a land use issue, the commission voted 4-1 to oppose a measure which would have restricted the mill’s processes and their economic viability. These are the mills that provide an enormous tax base, employ hundreds of locals, contribute generously to local causes, provide collateral jobs, etc. The only thing these two mills can rightfully be accused of is being ugly, as hideous as the gal your high school friend’s mother tired to convince you to invite to the prom. The mills view banning certain industries as a violation of their property rights, which they rightfully claim would create business uncertainty. But even after listening to the arguments of why a raisin is not an elephant, that even Commissioner Gass understood, Commissioner Miller said he was going to vote for the amendment, regardless. “Other communities that have suffered from coal pollution,” Miller said, “didn’t want their water polluted either, but it happened anyway.” He said we have the opportunity to prevent that from happening here.” Regarding the idea that the amendment would keep industry from moving here, Miller questioned who those industries might be and where they would be able to locate, other than at the airport. He said if industries that pollute were looking at Fernandina as a place to locate, they would find we were “anti-coal dust” and wouldn’t want to locate here. He said that was fine with him and they should go somewhere else to pollute. He concluded by expressing hollow support for the mills and the jobs of their workers. While managing to keep a straight face Nassau County Economic Development Board Executive Director, Laura DiBella, who is tasked with bringing jobs to the community, wore an “I Support the Mills” sticker, along with many others in the audience who weren’t impressed with Mr. Miller’s disjointed ramblings. Several were heard to say afterward: “We won’t forget this Johnny!” Even if the mills for some bizarre reason were to extend an olive branch to him, Mr. Miller would whack them with that limb while continuing to hug the tree. While the city’s comprehensive plan requires city leaders to encourage business development Mr. Miller’s response to a principled argument is to accuse the firms of plotting an island Holocaust.
• Puppy Mills: Despite the fact there is absolutely no evidence of “puppy mills’ operating in Fernandina, Commissioner Miller took time to lecture the commission and those attending earlier this month on their evils. What’s next Johnny, a tutorial on crazy cat ladies?
• Seismic Testing: Seismic testing is used for oil and natural gas exploration in the Atlantic Ocean, and The Bureau of Ocean Energy Management (BOEM), under the Obama Administration announced that oil and gas companies could apply to perform this testing in search of oil and gas deposits along the coastline from Delaware to Cape Canaveral. Testing has been going on for decades off the U.S. coast with no repercussions and according to South Carolina Congressman Jeff Duncan there hasn’t been a single verifiable instance where a marine mammal has been harmed through seismic work. But that didn’t stop Commissioner Miller from waging a frenzied one-man campaign to try to stop it anyway by inviting folks with questionable credentials to speak to the city commission and traveling from Tallahassee to Washington, DC to wage his silly war on “Big Oil.” To finance his DC trip he used a typical left-wing tactic of asking others to pay his way, pleading with folks to cover his travel, food and lost wages costs on a crowd funding site.
• Trying To Railroad The Railroad: In a well-intentioned but poorly thought-out idea to get the Front Street “sidewalk to nowhere” connecting Centre St. to the one the owners of the Salty Pelican built at their own expense, Mr. Miller impulsively determined that the best way to get CSX Railroad’s approval was to kick them in the rear. His social media postings calling for a full-blown “Occupy Wall Street” style march on CSX HQ in Jacksonville and a press conference on their corporate front porch would do the trick he thought. This blew up in the commissioner’s face when the suits at CSX contacted more rational folks at the city and in no uncertain terms, expressed the railroad’s dismay at Mr. Miller’s childish antics, saying his proposed actions would have the opposite of the intended effect and that Fernandina Beach was fast becoming one of their least favorite locations. Ms. DiBella would be very wise to ask the city to stuff Commissioner Miller in a closet whenever she has corporate prospects visiting the area.

All of this “Miller Time” activity comes on the heels of his other priorities including backyard chicken farming, dogs dining on restaurant patios, horses pooping on the beach and plastic bag bans.

But here’s another way to look at Johnny’s bizarre compulsions. He actually offers the more reasoned voices on the commission a foolproof method for keeping Fernandina safe, economically sound, and environmentally clean: Just do the exact 180-degree opposite of whatever he proposes as quickly as possible.

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The This Is Not News Department: The New York Times reported last week that Florida Senator Marco Rubio, who is running for the Republican presidential nomination, has received four traffic tickets and also relayed that his spending included an $80,000 boat and leasing a $50,000 car. Even liberal Jon Stewart, host of the “Daily Show”, tore into the paper asking: “How is this front page news? I can’t think of a single person who would be bothered by this.” He also tore into the paper’s description of one of Rubio’s homes: ” …an in-ground pool, a handsome brick driveway, meticulously manicured shrubs and oversized windows” prompting Stewart to respond in mock outrage: “Oversized windows! Oh, what’s the matter, senator? The normal amount of light isn’t good enough for you?” The Times’ Sheryl Gay Stolberg defended the paper’s coverage, saying running for president opens every aspect of your life to public scrutiny. I assume the paper is still compiling its material on Barack Obama and I am certain we can expect meticulous scrutiny of the Hillary Clinton campaign. Oh wait! Never mind.

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Drinking, Dining & Dancing: The fun trio of Tara Hatton, Nora Ricci, and Janet Vining, have taken over the downtown 316 Centre Street’s Courtyard Pub and renamed it The Alley Cat Seafood, Beer House & Wine Boutique, which in addition to serving food, beer and wine also offers a unique schedule of music which still includes popular piano man John Springer every Thursday evening 6:30-10:00. Folks, this a very fun place with good food, reasonable drinks, and live music featured six days a week, and some days featuring two to three shows. The ACSBH&WB sources its musicians locally as well as from several different states. Upcoming acts include names many may recognize such as Don Miniard, Jim Geiger, and Michaele Alongi, while beginning in August Gitlo Lee, (Blues Man of the South) will be featured every Second Friday and two-time Grammy Nominee, Aaron Bing, will perform three “Jazz Night” shows in July. Every Monday is a Soul Rock dinner show with ACSBH&WG partner Ms. Ricci (voted Best Musician, Jacksonville, by City Xtra Magazine 2015) on guitar and keyboard. The ACSBH&WB  is open Sunday, Monday, Wednesday 11 am-Midnight; Thursday, Friday, and Saturday 11 am-2 am. with food served from opening until closing. In addition to a variety of craft beers and premium wines patrons can also select from an assortment of card and board games to entertain themselves. And if the food, booze, music and board games aren’t enough, there are more than 100 comic books available for adults and the kiddos. And, as they say on the late night infomercials: “WAIT. There’s More!” The joint has a package license, which means that if you’re heading out on one of Pajama Dave’s Booze Cruises, or  you’re on the way home  to a B&B or hotel room, or your girl or boy friend’s place, the gals can sell you beer and wine to-go. Soon they’ll be adding tobacco products, including a wide selection of cigars to puff on in the courtyard. From time-to-time the ladies will also host special events, such as a 4th of July Pub Crawl with their backyard neighbor Green Turtle and special movie nights. Tomorrow they celebrate the movie Jaws 40th anniversary with two free showings, one at 3 pm and another at 5:30. Look for them on Facebook and Google (type in their name but don’t be confused by the former Alley Cat Lounge on 14th St). They are working on a website —  AlleyCatFernandina.com — which will feature a menu and event calendar. Yesterday. regular Rob Taylor, a talented drummer and local high school biology teacher, accompanied Mr. Springer to the delight of an adoring crowd.  Call ’em at 904/491-1001. Steve Raszkin of A Taste of Wine by Steve, 4924 First Coast Highway,  features a contrast in wines with a Spanish Flaco priced at $6.50 and a Caymus Special Select Cabernet 1.5 Liters from Napa Valley for $329.95. Stop by tonight between 5 and 7 for the weekly tasting and Steve might let you taste the Flaco and may even let you look at the Cabernet. Call ’em at 904/557-1506. Did you know you can rent the Amelia Island Museum of History for events? Well, you can, and the glossy 100 plus page First Coast Magazine has booked the 233 South 3rd Street for an event Tuesday, June 30 from 6-8 pm that features talented local guitarist Dan Voll, cocktails by Marlin & Barrel Distillery, sweets from Nana Teresa’s Bake Shop and Southern eats courtesy of Gilbert’s Underground Kitchen and 29 South. Go to firtscoastmag.com/IslandCulture to buy $25 tickets or get ’em for $30 at the door the day of the event. The museum benefits by getting a cut of the proceeds and look for articles about the contributing suppliers in the next issue of the publication.