Raise your hand if you’ve ever seen a red person. Yeh, me either.

I’ve seen brown, beige, pink, black and white folks, but I’ve never, ever seen a red person. There are no people who actually have red skin. 

But despite that, U.S. District Judge Gerald Bruce Lee (Bruce Lee?) has ordered the cancellation of the Washington Redskins’ trademark registration of the team’s name saying it may be disparaging to Native Americans. The ruling apparently doesn’t stop the team from using the Redskins name, but makes it more difficult for it in cases of trademark infringement.

The only problem is Judge Lee, there is no such thing a red-skinned person.

The name has been in use for more than 80 years and now this whacky judge jumps on the politically correct bandwagon. Why doesn’t he go after the folks at the Pentagon who have helicopters named Apache, missiles called Tomahawk, and airplanes called Lakota? Oh, and the code name for the operation that snuffed Osama bin Laden was Geronimo.

And how about the old Soviet Union and today’s Chinese. Weren’t the Soviets called “Reds” and aren’t the Chinese still called “red” today? Remember the Red Army? Were the soldiers red? No. And who doesn’t remember the 1960s cowardly left wing student chant of “Better red than dead?”

So what the heck is going on with stooges like sportscaster Bob Costas among others calling for the Washington team to change its name because “Redskins” is offensive to Native Americans?

Native American Indians colored their skin red because they believed it was the color of war. One thing the many diverse North American tribes — from the East Coast to the West — had in common was their definition of colors, with red war paint symbolizing blood, strength, energy, power and success. It was the reason after early settlers did battle with these fierce warriors these terrified settler folks called them “redskins.”

The term “redskin” was first recorded in the late 17th century and was applied to the Algonquian peoples generally, but specifically to the Delaware. “Redskin” referred not to the natural skin color of the Delaware, but to their use of vermilion face and body paint. And in what is now South Dakota when the Lakota tribe’s Black Elk prepared for battle at Wounded Knee he said “I painted my face all red.” They did this because it scared the hell out of their enemy.

Or maybe what all this brouhaha is about is that the politically correct crack pots think the Redskin footballers are guilty of “transracial” fraud, like Rachel Dolezal, the white woman who was head of the NAACP chapter in Spokane, who tried to pass herself off as black. Or  maybe it’s the lefties in the blue states trying to eliminate as many of their red state rivals as possible.

No matter what, I and many others encourage team owner Dan Snyder to  stick to his guns and never change the name of the team to accommodate a small minority of politically correct twits who in today’s environment most likely believe that neither team should lose because it would be bad for the self esteem of those players with the least amount of points at the end of the game.

The 537 elected and nine unelected fruitcakes running the sideshow in Washington probably stirred up this nonstarter to provide cover for their incompetence in everything else they touch.

The name “Redskins” pays tribute to the ferocity, strength and courage of the Native American warrior and has nothing to do with skin color or is in any way disparaging. Just the opposite. I just wish the team, which hasn’t played in a Super Bowl in almost 25 years, would live up to its proud moniker.

Hail to the Redskins!

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He Says What Others Are Thinking: Donald Trump will probably not be the 2016 Republican nominee for president, but he is definitely saying things that the other candidates are not and that are on the minds of many voters. Maybe some of the milquetoast GOP candidates can take a lesson from The Donald. For example, his criticism of Obama is on target when he said: “Our president doesn’t have a clue. He’s a bad negotiator. He’s the one that did Bergdahl. We get Bergdahl, they get five killer terrorists…We get Bergdahl. We get a traitor, a no-good traitor, and they get the five people that they wanted for years, and those people are now back on the battlefield trying to kill us.” As Weekly Standard Editor William Kristol says “A little touch of Trump in the rhetoric, the attitude, the bearing of the other Republican candidates could go a long way toward making this election more like 1980 than 1992.”

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Things I Wish I’d Said: “These hourly bulletins by GOP politicians announcing whether or not they’re running for the presidency would be a lot more suspenseful if any of them ever said, “Nah, I’ve thought it over and I’ve decided to pass. I think I’ll go fishing, instead. Besides, I don’t feel like moving to the White House. All my stuff is here and I like my neighbors.” … Burt Prelutsky.

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$1,000 Can Be Yours: I received a document in the mail last week that said in large bold capital letters on the upper left hand side of the envelope “CHECK ENCLOSED.” When I opened the envelope, which was designed much like one of those you’d receive from a company providing a refund, a mailed paycheck, etc., on the $1,000.00 promised “check” in very small print was a statement saying “This is not a check” despite the “check enclosed” statement on the envelope. An enclosed letter told me that these charitable, but obviously confused folks, were “pleased to inform me that I had been awarded two round-trip airline tickets anywhere in the continental United States from any major international airport and that I should call them to claim my reward, worth up to $1,000 which also includes “First Class accommodations at any one of over 1,000 Deluxe Hotel locations.” On the back of the check it stated that “this promotion is sponsored by FCGT, but didn’t provide any information on who or what that is, but it appears to have come from St. Augustine, as that city’s name appears on the “check-but-not-a-check.” Look folks, I’d like to share this unexpected bounty so here’s what I’m willing to do. Anyone who wants this generous gift can call the toll free number they provided, 844/663-1529, Monday-Sunday between 9 am and 9 pm and claim the award and tell them you are redeeming check number 6199 with my permission. If they answer the phone, I’m willing to wager that you will certainly be welcome to everything these bighearted folks have to offer. And I’m sure they have a very good explanation for the “this is a check but not a check” contradiction. Tell them I couldn’t go because I had to wash my hair, but the next time you see me in town, you can show me your vacation photos and buy me a beer for my generosity.

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River Tragedy: A couple of weeks ago I wrote about our trip to Cedar Key and reported a local story about a young teenage girl being struck and knocked unconscious by a leaping sturgeon while boating on the Suwannee River suggesting how rare such an incident must be. However, this past week a five-year-old girl boating with her family on the same river was tragically killed when she was hit by a leaping sturgeon while a similar incident injured two adults in a different part of the state the same day according to state Fish and Wildlife officials. While we’re keeping an eye out for sharks off our beaches, boaters on our East Coast rivers are wary of the toothless sturgeon, which can grow to a length of 8 feet or more and weigh more than 200 pounds. According to news reports sturgeons jump to equalize pressure in their swim bladders and to communicate with other sturgeons and boaters are encouraged to stay off the boat’s bow when in sturgeon territory and hit the deck when they see one leap.

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ISIS Strategy? What ISIS Strategy? Zineb El Rhazoui, a Charlie Hebdo staff member who was vacationing in her native Morocco when the slaughter of her co-workers took place in Paris this past January today is under 24-hour police protection and lives the life of a Parisian nomad moving from hotel to hotel and house to house to avoid the Islamist fanatics who have vowed to kill her. In an interview with the National Review she said she can’t understand how the Islamic State has gained so much literal ground in so many countries and summed up what a lot of us are thinking by saying: “How come all the modern countries, with all their science and all their armies, can’t destroy a bunch of madmen who don’t even have showers and believe you can heal cancer by drinking camel piss? I don’t understand how we cannot win this war.”

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Hypocritical Merchants: Because it is now considered a symbol of slavery the Confederate flag is coming off the shelves at Wal-Mart, Amazon, eBay and Sears all of which have announced bans on the sale of Confederate flag merchandise. However, Wal-Mart recently made a birthday cake with an ISIS flag on it and eBay and Amazon still gleefully sell Nazi flags, and other paraphernalia. Personally I don’t give a rip about the Confederate flag but I’d like to know how these hypocritical companies that are drowning in political correctness justify selling ISIS and Nazi gear. Maybe because the Nazis and Islamic barbarians didn’t and don’t enslave men, women and children, they just slaughter them.

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Speaking Of Flags: Will Amelia Island now become known as “The Isle of Seven  (not eight) Flags” now that the Confederate flag has been banned in so many localities? Will Fernandina Beach businesses take down the Confederate banner that waves along with seven others on their properties? What about the island’s advertising slogans, merchant and publicity photos, logos and so much more? Will the island’s history succumb to the nutty political correctness sweeping the country? And even if locals want to keep the Southern Civil War symbol flying where will they be able to get one?

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Speaking of Offensive Flags: A friend sent me a note earlier this week saying he’s created a new home security system. “We’ve disconnected our home alarm system and quit our Neighborhood Watch and bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center.  Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I’ve never felt safer and we’re saving $49.95 a month.”

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Double, Double Toil And Trouble: The Supreme Court’s coven of liberal witches — Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor — remind me of those “bobbing” or “dippy” birds people used to put in the back windows of their cars in the 1950s and 1960s whose heads perpetually bobbed up and down. These three harpies are 100 percent political, making a shame of what the court is suppose to be. Maybe the Washington National baseball team could have a bobble head night of these three, indicative of them goose-stepping in unison across the Constitution’s 10th Amendment.

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Drinking, Dining & Dancing: Downtown South 2nd Street’s Hola Cuban Cafe (call ’em at 904/ 321-0163) located right behind the Palace Saloon, is now offering “all-natural gourmet” ice pops with flavors including watermelon, mango, guava hibiscus, coconut, strawberry, pineapple and passion fruit, just like the delicious stuff I used to buy from street vendors in Tampa’s Cuban dominated Ybor City many years ago. The vendors there also sold 15 cent deviled crabs that our mothers warned us never to eat, but we devoured by the bags full, sprinkled with splashes of hot sauce the friendly sellers kept in the baskets of their three-wheeled bikes. Also, ask proprietors Marisol Triana or Chris Garcia about the popular downtown tasting and drinking tours when you pick up you ice pop. Beginning at 1 pm and running until 7 pm tomorrow the Amelia Island Yacht Basin, located just before leaving the island at the base of Shave Bridge, will be offering food, beverages, vendors, music, a raffle, silent auction, kids activities and more. Money from the event goes to the Fold of Honor Foundation, an organization devoted to providing scholarships for the families of U.S. soldiers killed on active duty. Some 87 cents of every dollar collected goes directly to the scholarships. While there say “hi” to Monty and Capprice Kitchen, the fun couple that own and operate the Amelia Island Boat Club in the Yacht basin. Folks, if you want to have a lot of fun, then grab a bar stool at the downtown Main Street Alley Cat, on Thursday evening, beginning at 6:30 and enjoy piano man John Springer. This is a no cover, fun venue that can’t be found  anywhere else. This past Thursday, John had drummer Rob Taylor, accompany him, a new Fernandina Beach High School teacher that students will be very fortunate to have as an instructor.