The Biden presidency has become so absurdly preposterous that it could be the subject of a “Blazing Saddles” meets “The Search for the Holy Grail” documentary.
The biopic film’s proposed disclaimer would probably read as follows: “This is a work of nonfiction. No names or places have been changed, no characters invented, no events fabricated. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely intentional. The only difference between this comedy romp and a fictional one is that instead of laughter, this film will produce dread, fear, anxiety and panic.”
There are no actors such as Bruce Willis, John Wayne, or Sylvester Stallone to play the masculine, aggressive male roles and save America from impending doom. There are no sexy, sultry, smart gals such as Scarlett Johansson, Halle Barry, or Jennifer Anniston to inspire them.
There are so many subplots the audience will get confused trying to keep track and the characters so bizarre that even a Mel Brooks and the Monty Python crew would have trouble making them up.
Joe Biden plays himself easily assuming the Married With Children (1987-1997) TV series sad sack Al Bundy personality, incorporating all the worst characteristics of the failed women’s shoe salesman. He is a befuddled born loser and a tragicomic figure, mocked by colleagues, hated by his neighbors, and inept at his job. In Bundy-like fashion he supplements his income through theft, various absurd schemes, and mooching off others while his poor judgement, and lack of skill produce absurd and tragic results.
A recurring scene is of Biden skipping around Washington D.C. like Monty Python’s King Arthur, behind White House Press Secretary, Jan Psaki, who is seen smacking two coconut shells together to duplicate the sound of the hooves of the imaginary horse she insists Biden is riding.
Attorney General Merrick Garland is expertly played by Jacques Clouseau, the inept and incompetent police detective in the Pink Panther movies, whose investigations always turn into chaos and the destruction of property. Garland, like Clouseau, displays an astounding lack of judgment and skill but is convinced of his own expertise and intelligence. In recent appearances before Congress, he attempts to appear elegant and refined despite the latest calamity he has just caused with his misguided memo asking all government investigative agencies to become involved in local school board meetings and treat parents that challenge school board officials like domestic terrorists.
The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff is General Jack D. Ripper, the crazed officer who ignites a nuclear war in the 1964 film “Dr. Strangelove or How I stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bomb.” He convincingly portrays General Mark Millie, who thinks he, and not the President, is in command of the country’s military and nuclear arsenal. General Ripper enacts “Plan R”, the movie’s fictional emergency war plan in which a lower echelon commander may order nuclear retaliation after a sneak attack if the normal chain of command is disrupted.
The role of muddled Secretary of State Antony Blinken, who wears a “Kick Me” sign on his back when he meets with contemptuous Chinese diplomats, is the clueless and dim Territorial Governor William J. Lepetomane in “Blazing Saddles.”
One of the most bizarre characters in this perverted cast is Health and Human Services Assistant Secretary Rachel Levine, a guy who wears a dress and says he’s a woman and who was recently feted as the first transgender four-star admiral in the United States Public Health Service Commissioned Corps. This part is brilliantly played by M.A.S.H.’s Corporal Maxwell Q. “Max” Klinger. Klinger wore a dress while impersonating a woman in an attempt to get kicked out of the Army, while Levine wears a dress and gets promoted, the last thing Klinger ever wanted.
Whenever Levine makes an official appearance a military band breaks into a rendition of the Four Seasons’ “Walk Like a Man” once they manage to stop snickering.
Dr. Antony Fauci, the film’s arch-villain, was plucked out of a James Bond film. He plays himself. Nobody ever heard of this guy until early 2020 and nobody has ever voted for him for anything. He materialized out of nowhere and appears to be running the country. He tells people when to stay inside and when they can go outside; when businesses can open and close; when we can go to school and church; if and when we can celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving; how many masks we have to wear at a time; and if we do or don’t have to be vaccinated.
This raspy-voiced little weasel is a serial liar that Senator Dr. Rand Paul (R-KY), rightly accused of lying to Congress under oath. The National Institute of Health admitted that this Dr. Frankenstein, Jr. funded Covid gain-of-function research at the Wuhan lab while he lied to Congress twice saying he did no such thing. It was revealed he funded other hideous experiments, one involving dogs being eaten alive by insects. This guy is flat out evil.
Another character who plays herself is Vice President Kamala Harris. The only time she’s seen in the entire film is when she’s shuffled off to Latin America to explain how the L.A. Dodgers stocked with Latinos such as Albert Pujols, Neftali Feliz, Victor Gonzalez, Julio Urias, etc. lost the National League championship series in six games to the Atlanta Braves. She is told to remain there until 2024 and not make any public statements.
Vicki Lawrence’s Mama Thelma Mae Harper, a stereotypical bossy, elderly buxom woman portrays House Speaker Nancy Pelosi . She’s the pursed-lipped gorgon who uses her handbag as a weapon when upset, and frequently incorporates a purse whack, an object slam, a shove, a startling shout, or a healthy dose of threats, insults, and criticisms in an attempt to keep her Democrat congressional minions in line.
The two leading characters from the 2005 film “Brokeback Mountain” portray Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg and his “husband”.
While the U.S. is suffering from a massive economically crippling supply chain issue Buttigieg is nowhere in sight as he’s on a two-month paid paternity leave so he and his “husband” can celebrate the birth of twins. The best word to describe this role is “creepy.”
Qualifying for any of the jobs in the Biden administration really doesn’t take much, but Buttigieg is one of the least qualified. As mayor of a small town in Indiana, the only transportation issue he ever tackled was calling someone to fix a busted downtown traffic signal.
Playing a hanger-on wannabe is the morbidly obese, Stacey Abrams, who looks like she can floss with rope and bills herself as the “real governor of Georgia.” She’s played with authenticity by the late Flip Wilson’s “Geraldine.” For no discernible reason this woman, who holds no office of any kind, frequently appears at various Democrat functions nationwide.
This failed Georgia gubernatorial candidate helped the Woke-a-Cola CEO and low flying Delta CEO get Major League’s baseball All-Star game yanked out of Atlanta (51% black residents) and sent to Denver (78% white residents) costing her state’s residents an estimated $100 million in lost revenue.
Playing a supporting role is John Kerry, portrayed by the Addams Family’s Lurch. Kerry, whose body was taken over by pod people in the late 1970s, has no actual purpose. He’s unscripted and periodically pops up unexpectedly at the White House grunting: “You rang?”
Observing and commenting on all this nonsense from a box seat are Senators Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and Bernie Sanders (Socialist – VT) portrayed convincingly by the two grumpy codgers, Statler and Waldorf, the pair of Muppet characters best known for their jeering cantankerous opinions.
It’s a classic Greek comedy that sadly has three more years to run.
YEP! A recent meme sums up the above situation saying: “This is what happens when you order a president through the mail.”
Meanwhile Back At The Ranch: The wise ‘ole professor who knows more than most about goings-on at city hall predicts that the denial of Brett’s appeal to stop the pending condemnation of the restaurant paves the way to more taxpayer debt.
Once condemned he says the city will need to demolish the structure at a cost of several million dollars while at the same time creating more blight. So much for making things better. “Get out your wallet yet again,” he adds.
There’s a long shot rumor that a developer may be interested in leasing the property and doing the demo/rebuild and opening a new venue. But that would take months to accomplish, while leaving the wreckage for all to see. Next Shrimp Fest with a wrecking crane right on Centre Street. Nice.
City Manager Dale “The Big Spender” Martin and his is sidekicks Commissioner Chip “The blowhard Bully” Ross and Mayor “Marxist Mike” Lednovich tell us everything is fine, stop the whining, there’s nothing to see here.
The ‘ole professor asks: “Why didn’t the city enforce the lease years ago?” Answer: Sloppiness, carelessness, and incompetence.
Brett’s, the beach walkovers, Atlantic Rec Center, the ball fields, Peck Center, the golf course, and more, are many in a litany of city public utility failures by the city. And they want us to approve a $23 million bond for more of their nonsense that we’ll be on the hook for. According to the poll still up on this site, some 92% of residents ( 104) say they’d vote against such a bond issue while just 8% (8 folks) say they’d approve.
City leaders want to redo Centre Street, build a sea wall (that will in fact not stop the sea or deluges from the sky), and abolish parking west of the railroad tracks to make room for grassland and trees.
Who can save us from this madness?
Speaking of The Golf Course: If you want to get away from the crowds and be by yourself the Top Tracer facility at the Fernandina Beach Golf Course is the place to go.
My reliable golf correspondent sent a photo taken Wednesday at 3 pm showing a totally empty facility which for some reason I can’t reproduce here. This is a a prime time for many golfers. He also said the lone course employee there that day told him that is “typical” for this site.
The veteran golf correspondent said that most Top Tracer features he’s ever seen are in sports bars with Top Tracer as a feature, not the main attraction. He said there are still no lights, food, or restrooms at the $500,000 facility here, which may also account for why there are no customers.
Another photo he submitted shows the lousy condition of the “practice” green.
He rightfully asks: “When will the city offer a stand alone accounting of the $500,000 Top Tracer cost and explain to the taxpayers where the money went?”
It’s Getting Creepier: Social media giant Twitter has reportedly suspended at least two Republican lawmakers for referring to Health and Human Services assistant secretary Rachel Levine as a “man” after he/she was feted as becoming the first transgender four-star admiral in the United States Public Health Service Commissioned Corps.
“Twitter has censored @RepJimBanks (R-IN) for calling HHS’ Rachel Levine a man. He will be locked out of his account until he deletes his tweet: ‘The title of first female four-star officer gets taken by a man,’” Daily Signal correspondent Mary Margaret Olohan noted on Twitter.
In addition, Twitter also suspended Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) for pushing back on HHS for claiming Levine is the “first female four-star” appointed to the Public Health Service.
She wrote: “A dude who lived the first 50 years of his life as a man isn’t the first female anything. China is laughing at us.”
It’s not clear why the platform did not treat the two tweets, which contained similar comments, in a similar fashion.
Levine first began the transition to living as a female in his 40’s.
The tweet that got Congressman Jim Banks locked out of the account, read that “The title of first female four-star officer gets taken by a man.”
The congressman has taken to tweeting from his personal account and says he won’t back down. “I’ll be posting on my personal account for the time being. Please Retweet this message and follow me -> @Jim_Banks.”
Local Honey! I’ve seen signs reading “Local Honey” on streets hereabouts numerous times but I never saw her until this past Wednesday evening at Pajamadave’s downtown Beer & Wine Garden, when I met Morgan Granger and her husband John Crescenzo, a pair of local beekeepers. The two told me they keep bee hives at their home and produce honey for sale. I bought a 12-ounce plastic squeeze bottle of it and can personally testify that it tastes great. If you’re interested in buying local honey, call ‘em at 617/797-7185. The name of their company is MoJo Honey.
Things I Wish I’d Said: “There is a major difference between intelligence and stupidity: intelligence has its limits.” – Albert Einstein.
Breaking News Coming Soon: An announcement from Southwest Airlines stated that the airline was offering free flights to all passengers who are vaccinated and can fly a plane.
Want To Meet Some Navy Seals? My good friend Joe Murphy tells me it’s too late to sign up to play in the 10th Annual Amelia Island Charity Group Tournament benefiting the Navy Seal Foundation. But it’s not too late to be part of the event by joining the group at a dinner Friday, November 5, at the Ritz-Carlton Amelia River Golf Club. The dinner, which costs $100 per person, begins at 5 pm will feature 11 Gold Star Navy Seal families, a guest speaker, and a silent and live auction. A number of current and retired Navy Seals will be in attendance.
All money donated is tax deductible and goes to assist families of Navy Seals killed in combat.
And Now For Somethin Completely Different – Good News:
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words: The photograph below sent to me by good friend Pat Keogh shows gas prices on Amelia Island one year ago.