Oops! Last week I said Fernandina Beach City Commissioner Johnny Miller was asking anyone who would listen to send him money to finance his trip to Washington, DC to help him save the world from plastic bags.
I was wrong!
Our “save-the-world” commissioner is still in hot pursuit of the dreaded apocalyptic plastic bag, but he’s bagged that search temporarily as he hunts down the liberal left’s latest bogeyman…the frightful seismic ocean sounding epidemic.
In his Don Quixote-like quest Mr. Miller is asking folks to send him money for travel, lodging, meals, and lost wages so he can attend a Washington, DC meeting of like-minded folks who will be significantly contributing to the world’s supply of hot air during their May 11-14 session.
This assembly brings together intellectual and environmental giants like Prince Albert II of Monaco, who want to hamstring the American economy so we can’t drill, mine or split atoms, and gradually descend into their hell of state-managed wave power, wind power and tofu power.
Despite the fact there is absolutely no evidence to prove it, this group says seismic testing is a threat to marine mammals.”The threat of another BP type oil disaster and need to transition off fossil fuels make this the defining issue for millions of people,” say these folks, who don’t possess the mental capacity to make Jell-O.
Florida’s Environmental Protection Agency has already asked the federal government, which is permitting the testing, not to allow it off our state’s Atlantic coast until more research is done to see if it actually does has an impact on sea life, but that doesn’t stop these zealots from screaming “oceanic Armageddon.”
This is a group that Mr. Miller invited to speak to our city commission early last December (davescottblog, Dec. 12, 2014) and whose guest speaker I was falsely accused of verbally accosting in city hall’s parking lot by a group of Johnny’s friends with his endorsement. Ms. Erin Handy, the person I was accused of accosting, admits the incident never took place. So if you don’t agree with Mr. Miller as he works himself into a dervish-like trance and recites memorized Michael Moore talking points, he’ll make up stuff and encourage false accusations to divert attention away from his detractors. It’s like having a discussion — and I’ve said this before — with someone with attention deficit disorder.
If I’m not being called names or outrageous by Johnny, then I’m not being outrageous enough.
What’s next Johnny, the dreaded flush toilet?
But wait a minute Commissioner, I thought you were elected to serve the people of Fernandina Beach concerning local issues such as zoning, harbor front improvements, storm water, improving the business environment, reducing local business regulations, police and fire department issues and so on, or did I miss something? While you’re off in DC pleading for folks to finance ear plugs for fish, who’s tending your commission chair?
Oh, Mr. Miller also says if he doesn’t spend all the money people send him to bankroll his trip, he will send any leftover cash to something called Oceana, which I think is located a few miles south of Atlantis. Why don’t they just send the money there themselves and take the tax deduction?
More Miller Madness: When Mac Morriss, one of the administrators of the widely read and influential Amelia Island Fernandina Beach Network announced that the Amelia Island News Wrecker parody newspaper had been published, there was only one negative statement among the dozens of positive ones posted and that came in the following unedited comment from Palace bartender and Commissioner Miller who said: “As one of the original admins of this group, the name of all that is sacred, please, PLEASE do not give David Scott anymore credibility that you would Alfred E. Newman, or any other cartoon character. I think that his form of humor has its place, but it is not to have any influence over sites like this one? If people like to share sunsets and want assistance to identify a snake, post away. Trust me, if the users of this group don’t want to see them, THEY will let you know.”
Mr. Miller was protesting Mac’s teasing reference to a satirical article in the News Wrecker about Facebook warning people to stop clogging its system with sunset photos. Mac jokingly agreed with the silly Wrecker story, and even added snakes, images of which have been proliferating lately. Like I said in last week’s blog, if you are sitting at a bar next to someone who thinks anything in the News Wrecker is true, you may want to move a couple of stools away. I guess I should have cautioned readers to beware of bartenders who may believe what they read in the Wrecker too.
Mayor Ed Boner, who has a keen sense of humor, posted a photo of the Wrecker on his personal page with an unsolicited positive comment. Commissioner Tom Poynter’s restaurant, Karibo, has an ad in it, as does Mr. Miller’s employer, The Amelia Island Hospitality Group. Commissioner Robin Lentz got a few chuckles out of it and no word yet on what Commissioner Pat Gass’ imaginary friends think. What Mr. Miller thinks is obvious as it has been reported to me that he told folks that the News Wrecker is a “load of BS,” apparently finding nothing in it to grin about.
I didn’t see Mr. Miller’s original Facebook posting as he has blocked me from reading anything he puts online, so his comments were forwarded to me by others. Mr. Miller is certainly welcome to comment on this blog anytime he wants and he has in fact done so in the past as his opinions are not blocked and anything I say about him is available for him to read.
By the way Johnny it was Alfred E. Neuman, not “Newman,” who was the iconic and fictitious mascot cover boy of Mad magazine, and I’m flattered to be compared to that odd looking, but funny fellow. Take a deep breath Johnny, exhale, and relax and send us a post card from DC. I’m sure someone will give you money for a stamp.
Speaking Of Lost Causes: Dr. Patrick Moore, the co-founder of Greenpeace and a leader in international environmentalism for more than 40 years is no longer a believer saying recently that the Earth has been warming very gradually for 300 years, since the Little Ice Age ended, long before heavy use of fossil fuels. He says that prior to the Little Ice Age, during the Medieval Warm Period, Vikings colonized Greenland and Newfoundland, when it was warmer there than today. And during Roman times, it was warmer, long before fossil fuels revolutionized civilization. He adds that the idea it would be catastrophic if carbon dioxide were to increase and the average global temperature were to rise a few degrees is preposterous. “I am skeptical humans are the main cause of climate change and that it will be catastrophic in the near future. There is no scientific proof of this hypothesis, yet we are told “the debate is over” and “the science is settled.” He added that recently, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) announced for the umpteenth time we are doomed unless we reduce carbon-dioxide emissions to zero. “Effectively this means either reducing the population to zero, or going back 10,000 years before humans began clearing forests for agriculture. This proposed cure is far worse than adapting to a warmer world, if it actually comes about.” As Burt Prelutsky says, the left hosts folks so dumb they actually fall for every hoax that comes down the pike. And one of the first was global warming. But when Mother Nature refused to play along, they renamed it climate change.
The News Wrecker Is Online: The recently published Amelia Island News Wrecker which is available in print version at various restaurants, bars and shops around Amelia Island is now online and can be viewed in color at by going to www.amelianewswrecker.com.
TAXI! Boating instructor and tour guide Captain Flip Gallion will be running a six-passenger water taxi between St, Marys, Georgia and Fernandina Beach May1-3 during Shrimp Festival for folks coming from that Georgia town who don’t want to worry about festival traffic and parking hassles. Call Captain Flip at 904/653-2338 for rates and details.
Living Life Even More Comfy: Pajama Dave’s downtown South 2nd Street Pajama Life is taking on another life with the announcement that a Pajama Life Shop will offer residents and visitors to Key West an opportunity to “Live Life Comfy” with the opening June 1 of a Pajama Life store at 425 Front Street there, indicating that the Fernandina Beach store is doing more than very well. Are we looking at a future nationally franchised chain here? Check out the South 2nd Street Pajama Life shop a half block off Centre Street to see what’s in store for the Conch Republic.
A letter from Israel: Dear President Obama, I am writing today with a somewhat unusual request but similar to your position regarding Israel returning to its 1967 borders. I ask that you return America to its August 20, 1959 borders so that Hawaii is no longer a state and you are no longer a citizen. Yours truly, Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu
Poverty And Education: Did you know that 66 percent of black children under age 18 live with a single mother who has no high school diploma? “The fact that single motherhood is increasing faster among women with less than a college degree means that children growing up with a single mother are likely to be doubly disadvantaged,” according to “Was Moynihan Right?” in EducationNext. Also while watching the riots in Baltimore and when I hear lunatics like Eric Holder, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton complain that young black males are arrested a disproportionate number of times, I keep waiting for someone to point out that, by a strange coincidence, they also happen to commit a disproportionate number of crimes.
Rich States, Poor States: Florida ranks 15th and neighbor Georgia 7th in the nation in economic competitiveness, according to, “Rich States, Poor States,” released recently by the American Legislative Exchange Council. Utah earned the top ranking; the bottom five were New Jersey, Connecticut, Minnesota, Vermont and New York.
The Keys To Success: With so many young folks advocating and using marijuana while others stay glued to their cell phones and unable to carry on one-on-one conversation, those that stay sober and can string together a simple declarative sentence will eventually rule while the pot heads and key punchers will be washing their cars.
The Canadian Connection: When the Canadian flag goes up above the entrance to the kitchen at the Salty Pelican, you’ll know that Pelican co-owner Al Waldis’ aunt and uncle, Dick & Kris Watson, are in town, a personable duo that have during their brief bi-annual stays at the downtown Hampton Inn & Suites managed to endear themselves to everyone on Amelia Island that they meet. Of course, the fact that they come bearing gifts for certain fortunate residents is part of the reason for their hearty welcome, and those that know them well were treated to a delicious brunch on a recent Sunday of Canadian Peameal bacon, a treat unknown to all but myself and a select few. But the fact is these two would be welcome empty-handed as they are two of the most pleasant and entertaining folks we’ve ever had the privilege of knowing. “Ya’ll come back now ya heah!”
Drinking, Dining & Dancing: Shrimp Festival brings out the best in restaurants and pubs around the island and some of the most fun will be the North 2nd Street Crab Trap this Saturday and Sunday with a special 12 ounce special Crab Trap punch for just $6.00, two dollar Bud Lite draughts and a $5.00 Bloody Mary from 11 am until sundown. There is also a house wine for just $4.00 and a dozen oysters on the half shell for $16 at the Trap inside and out at its special festival Beer Garden. The Florida House will have its annual outside back porch pub open for the festival along with a special BBQ smoker and on Saturday folks inside at the Mermaid Bar can watch the Kentucky Derby while cheering on their randomly picked horse with post time at 6:34 pm. An article about T-Ray’s in the satirical News Wrecker has folks requesting left-handed hamburgers which will make their first appearance on that eatery’s menu beginning today, so I’d like to invite readers to compare the southpaw burger to the traditional right handed one and let me know what they think. During Shrimp Fest Cafe Karibo will also be serving on its outside patio a special punch offered and poured by owner and City Commissioner Tim Poynter for seven bucks, not a bad price to pay to quaff a tasty beverage and chat with the commissioner about your opinions. Karibo will also have live music tonight 7-9 pm. tomorrow 12:30-3:30 and 4-7 pm and on Sunday beginning at 12:30 pm.
Still working my way through the NewsWrecker. So far, so… great!
Way to tackle those Tree Huggers, Dave.
I am eternally grateful for Commissioner Johnny Miller and his passionate advocacy for causes he believes in!! And, yes, I am what you might term a “bleeding heart liberal”. I enjoy reading your blogs and rants, and respect your right to hold strong opinions and express them. I would hope that this tolerance goes both ways. We all are seeking peace and love on our island paradise, no?
I just spent a delightful hour laughing my way through your hilarious on-line News Wrecker. I’m going to contact a number of your colleagues from your multi-stop communications career and ask each of them the same question I asked myself. When Dave Scott worked with you, how come he was never this clever?
Seriously, I realize a lot of work and creative thinking went into the News Wrecker and I just hope that producing this gave you as much pleasure as it certainly must have provided those who read it. Congratulations on a job well done. As one of your former bosses, I know those are words you rarely heard!
Thoroughly enjoyed the NewsWrecker. Can’t wait to read more and anticipate a response from ComGas (you may use that).