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“Clearance, Clarence. Roger, Roger. Vector, Victor & Also Explain The New Airport Bldg.”

Mystery airport building — terminal, welcome center or what?

For a number of months I’ve been hearing about something to be built at the local airport that is supposed to look like an airplane, but maybe it won’t and will be a welcome center, unless it isn’t.

Depending on who you talk to or what you read this structure will be a “welcome center” or a “terminal” or maybe it won’t. And it’ll cost $1 million unless it costs $4 million or much more, unless it doesn’t.

Those approving, planning, discussing , evaluating, designing and reporting on this project say it will resemble an airplane. In fact, they say it will look like the FU4 Corsair, a plane that flew out of the Fernandina Beach airport during World War II. However, Passero Associates, the company in charge of designing this thing, said the nose will have to be scaled back because of expense. And City Commissioner Len Kreger said that the tail section may not be built because of something to do with bids. So the building will look exactly like an airplane if an airplane looked exactly like a box. And it might be a welcome center unless it’s a terminal. And it will cost somewhere around $1 million or well over $4 million.

Articles in the local News-Leader newspaper and online publications The Observer and Independent have never fully explained this mysterious building. Not because they don’t want to I don’t think. But I believe, because they have no idea what the hell is going on and maybe don’t want to appear “uninformed” by asking questions that they think would have those in charge of this confusion intimidating them by pointing, rolling their eyes, and snickering. Editors and reporters want readers to think they know what’s happening. For example an Observer article Thursday, Feb. 9  had a story headlined “Airport Welcome Center preparing for takeoff” while the next day, Feb. 10, the News-Leader had a front page article headlined: “Airport terminal plans hit turbulence.” Well, those reports should certainly clear things up. When challenged our local crack editors and reporters are known to confidently fire back with a cocky sneer and a: “YEH! Well, oh YEH!”

Our new airport welcome center?

I don’t want to come across as a rumormonger, naysayer or nitpicker but I’m beginning to think that the folks involved in whatever this airport caper is may have come here from Area 51 in Nevada or someone is in the process of successfully pulling off one of the biggest and most expensive practical jokes in Amelia Island’s aviation history.

As background here’s everything I know about terminals and welcome centers.

I became an adolescent expert on welcome centers as an expatriate Canadian growing up in Tampa and making frequent summer car trips from Tampa to St. Thomas, Ontario and back with my widowed mom in the days before there was an Interstate Highway System.

Welcome centers were those buildings located just inside the state line or in “historic downtowns” such as Fernandina Beach. On the Florida state line they resembled giant oranges where pretty girls dressed up like kumquats would greet you with big smiles, cups of free orange juice (which everybody wanted) and grapefruit juice (which nobody wanted), Florida maps, and brochures describing Silver Springs, Cypress Gardens, and Booger’s Reptile Ranch. Those were also the days when you could buy a gross of cherry bombs and M-80s the minute you crossed into Georgia, a purchase impossible today unless you have a federal explosives license. Because of their waterproof fuses and the fact they sank, my Canadian cousins and our friends discovered it was much more expedient catching perch and smelt in Lake Erie using these miniature explosives than an old fashioned rod and reel or net.

Oh, speaking of Georgia and airports, folks there brag that the Atlanta airport is the busiest in the world, which to me is like boasting that you have the nation’s most severe case of hemorrhoids. NEWS ALERT: People are prohibited from taking alligators or other wild animals from reptile ranches and alligator farms like Booger’s. That’s because of incidents of them being used as deadly weapons like the one reported last week by Jacksonville’s Action News where a Florida man was charged with aggravated assault after he threw an alligator through a drive-through window at Wendy’s. Now back to the airport mystery building report.

If you want to see what Fernandina’s old welcome center looked like take a peek over piano man John Springer’s shoulder the next time you’re at the downtown Alley Cat on a Thursday or Saturday evening. The large glass pyramid-like building painted in the wall mural behind John was the city welcome center where native women in their colorful kumquat costumes handed out cups of free orange juice and locks of David Yulee’s hair to tourists. Today you have to go to the old train station, walk past a bronze statue of Yulee, Florida’s most notorious slave-owning scallywag, and into the depot to get a handful of brochures from a cheery volunteer who, disappointingly, is not dressed as a kumquat. The free orange juice went the way of the hand painted signs advertising “Gator Rasslin Just Ahed” and “Gud Smoked Mulet 100 Yards.”

As for terminals, during my corporate communications and PR agency days I probably spent more time in airport terminals than I did in an office. In the early days it was great, because there were no cell phones or Internet so once you were at the airport terminal nobody could pester you with “just one more thing to change to the presentation.” It worked the other way around too when you realized that once airborne, just after lowering your tray table and opening your brief case that you left the presentation at home and are taking your kid’s 9th grade science fair project to Schenectady.

“I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf, and just go there, to the Y.M.C.A; I’m sure they can help you today.”

Airport terminals that I frequented had restaurants, bars, gift shops, book stores, newsstands, fast food joints, shoe shine stands, rental car desks; bald-headed, very annoying Hare Krishna followers in orange robes (kumquat wannabe’s?); ashtrays and smokers everywhere; banks of pay phones and people waiting for you at your gate when you got off the plane. In an airport bar beers comes in two sizes: A 12 ounce draught for $18 or $72 for a 83 ounce one. Airport bars also don’t have clocks, forcing you to wander all over the airport looking for a pretty girl without a wedding ring to ask what time it is. Oh, and I’ve never seen a “welcome center” at an airport or a sign directing me to one.

The airports I’ve flown in and out of also had control towers. Ours doesn’t. Does that matter? I heard that Fernandina just fired the airport manager. So who do I ask? The local “Smoke ‘n’ Da Cockpit” barbeque team (most all are area air traffic controllers) is probably better informed than our city commissioners, city officials, news outlets, airport experts, etc. and if they don’t have the answers, at least you’ll get a tasty pulled pork sandwich with a side of beans, cole slaw and a drink. The City Commission doesn’t even offer mints.

Will we soon be picking up visitors from commercial flights here? Will air traffic increase? If so what kind of noise can we expect? Will this thing have restaurants? Bars? A community meeting room? Free orange juice? Kumquat girls? Or will it just be for private planes? And if so how does that benefit the majority of residents? If it’s just for private planes let the Ritz Carlton, The Omni Resort and the handful of local’s who have private planes build their own terminal or welcome center and squeeze their own orange juice. What is this thing and how does it benefit the residents? Do we need it? Who wants it?

I understand a lot of the construction money is coming from the federal government (our federal tax dollars) and local city government doesn’t want to let it slip away, but that a big chunk is coming from Fernandina Beach’s general fund and the airport enterprise fund…in other words our local tax money. I’ve seen architectural renderings, heard it would look like an airplane or a cube, read about construction issues, heard the city commission debate construction obstacles, costs, and more.

The only thing I have not heard is what the hell this thing is supposed to be and how local tax paying residents will benefit. Anybody?

Here’s an idea. Put a note in a time capsule in the cornerstone of this mystery building and hundreds of years from now when future inhabitants of the area uncover it and stand there scratching their heads, they’ll read a message that says: “We didn’t know what it was for either. P.S. If you find a huge chest stuffed with cash, it’s impact fee extortion money, another way we figured out how to screw the local tax payers.”

***

Local hottie Crystal Foster, right, and the devastating effect of local impact fees, left.

Speaking Of Those Stinkin’ Impact Fees: If Mel Brooks lived in Fernandina Beach he would have produced and directed “Impact Fees! We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Impact Fees!” a crazed grab bag of a video that does everything to keep you laughing except smack you over the head with a whoopee cushion. And it succeeds.

Unlike a movie theatre, viewers don’t pay to watch the film. But there is a monetary angle, sort of a Jerry Lewis-like fundraiser gone haywire, revealed at the end.

It doesn’t have the refined luster of a Hollywood production and its structure is a total mess. But what does that matter when bearded and pot-bellied local eccentric Pajamadave Voorhees is dressed as a Julie Roberts “Pretty Woman” hooker leaning against Fernandina Beach’s City Hall sign soliciting prospective Johns driving down Ash Street. The only problem viewers will have is that it’s too short at seven minutes. They’ll definitely want more.

Viewers will also have fun trying to identify a variety of locals who make cameo appearances. The casting call from Zan Maddox, PJ Dave’s fiancé, the film’s producer, director, grip, script writer, gopher, beer-holder, camera-person, etc., resembled Hedley Lamarr’s request to Taggart in Blazing Saddles when he said to him: “I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, and Methodists!”

“Mongo no like impact fees.”

The only thing missing is Mongo riding down Centre Street on an ox knocking a bronze David Yulee sky-high off of his train depot bench with a undercut right hook to the jaw? And there’s no black railroad workers singing “I Get A Kick Out Of You” on CSX’s Front Street rail line. For that we’ll have to wait for “Impact Fees – The Stinkin’ Sequel.”

The video, which makes a statement, is very funny. (Full disclosure here: I make my silent movie debut in this talkie film as a non-verbal sheriff).

The story line involves Fernandina Beach’s shady public works department intent on squeezing prospective bar owner PJ Dave for $7,632 ($318 for each of the 24 seats) in extorted impact fees and Dave’s bizarre and frantic attempts to raise the funds. It involves Dave realizing that he must raise the requested money or his life-long dream of opening his Cheers-like PJD’s bar on South 2nd Street will abruptly end with Public Utilities Director John Mandrick cackling as he twirls his Snidely Whiplash moustache. Will he tie the buxom, blonde beauty, Zan, to the CSX railroad tracks, Nell Fenfick style, if the extorted funds aren’t secured? Watch the video to find out.

Folks who have seen the 1965 film Cat Ballou will also appreciate the unique role local musician Dan Voll plays as he appears in the background and in between scenes brilliantly strumming tunes appropriate to each episode on his guitar. His role is similar to Nat King Cole and Stubby Kaye in Cat Ballou who play a couple of ballad singers, and move into the picture at intervals to sing about what’s going on.

The film, which probably cost $11.99, the price of a case of Bud Light on sale at Winn Dixie, was shot locally on an iPhone. Its purpose is to help Dave & Zan raise funds to pay the outrageous impact fees demanded by the city’s Snidely Whiplash-like public works director Mandrick through a Kickstarter campaign and to promote the new PJD tavern.

To watch the film click on the link https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/537958096/pjds-beer-and-wine-garden and then if so inclined follow directions at the end of the video. Or you can go to Kickstarter.com and type in PJD’s. If none of that works call ’em at 904/310-9314 and ask where you went wrong.

In my opinion, Zan and Dave did a terrific job of creating a very funny video on a shoestring, going beyond slapstick, poking fun at people who deserve it, and embracing excess.

Guest Commentary

(Patrick Keogh, a friend, long-time Fernandina Beach resident, entrepreneur, attorney, out spoken city critic and business owner who took his capital and fled Amelia Island for Austin, Texas because of the city’s unfair and extortionist impact fees, offered this serious and thought-provoking  commentary as the country celebrates Black History Month.)

February is Black History Month and we reflect on the costs to and contributions from African Americans throughout our history. I also think it is important for us to reflect on the contributions made by those 646,000 Union casualties in preserving our Union and redeeming America’s original sin of slavery.

The cost to preserve the Union and end America’s original sin was high. Abraham Lincoln has earned much of the credit for that and with the war won he soon paid for it with his life. Although Lincoln’s abhorrence of slavery was clear he famously wrote “If I could save the Union without freeing any slave, I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves, I would do it… What I do about Slavery and the colored race, I do because I believe it helps to save the Union”.   So it might be said that emancipation was an incidental result of Lincoln’s primary objective.

Alexis de Tocqueville saw the impending American conflict in his two volume Democracy in America when he wrote in the 1830s that “Slavery in the Southern states cannot survive. By the act of the master, or by the will of the slave, it will cease; and in either case great calamities may be expected to ensue”. And that calamity came to pass a generation later in our Civil War.

The American Civil War remains our most costly war in terms of lives lost. It is estimated the Union alone sustained over 364,000 deaths and suffered about 282,000 wounded in the course of the war. When you include the families and communities affected by these 646,000 casualties the cost to the nation was enormous. For a long time I have believed the price paid by these 646,000 has not been fully recognized in our country.

In a little known way, our Civil War was an international conflict. No fewer than one in four Union soldiers were foreign born. Some 543,000 of the total two million who took up Union arms were immigrants. Some 43% of the Union force were immigrants or sons of immigrants. Relatively few fought for the Confederacy.

It’s interesting to note that of the 543,000 immigrant Union soldiers some 200,000 are believed to have migrated from what is now Germany and another 150,000 came from Ireland. No doubt some came here for economic reasons. I doubt they came to preserve the Union. I like to think they fought and died here to secure a freedom for themselves and their fellow man in the new world that they had been unable to achieve under Europe’s autocracies.

***

Drinking, Dancing & Dining: If you want a fun evening, cold beer, great mixed drinks, and a more than convivial atmosphere then head for the 31 North 2nd Street Crab Trap where the folks that run this iconic tavern and restaurant are as fun and friendly as the group of regulars that frequent the downstairs bar every Wednesday from 5 p.m. till just after happy hour munching wing specials and two buck drafts. Owner Choo Choo Germano, his general manager daughter Holly and manager Brandi Kendrick stay busier than one armed paper hangers but still find time to kick back and chat with customers, making each one feel special. They also don’t forget their regulars when they’re in an “I’ve fallen over and can’t get up” mode even though they didn’t get that way at the Trap. Try the Trap’s all-day ’til 6 p.m. $10 Saturday fried shrimp special (hushpuppies, slaw and fries included) with $1 margaritas and their $19 Sunday two-for-the-price-of-one lobsters, possibly the best weekend restaurant deals on the island. Call ’em at 904/261-4749.

 

“Clearance, Clarence. Roger, Roger. Vector, Victor & Also Explain The New Airport Bldg.”

Mystery airport building — terminal, welcome center or what?

For a number of months I’ve been hearing about something to be built at the local airport that is supposed to look like an airplane, but maybe it won’t and will be a welcome center, unless it isn’t.

Depending on who you talk to or what you read this structure will be a “welcome center” or a “terminal” or maybe it won’t. And it’ll cost $1 million unless it costs $4 million or much more, unless it doesn’t.

Those approving, planning, discussing , evaluating, designing and reporting on this project say it will resemble an airplane. In fact, they say it will look like the FU4 Corsair, a plane that flew out of the Fernandina Beach airport during World War II. However, Passero Associates, the company in charge of designing this thing, said the nose will have to be scaled back because of expense. And City Commissioner Len Kreger said that the tail section may not be built because of something to do with bids. So the building will look exactly like an airplane if an airplane looked exactly like a box. And it might be a welcome center unless it’s a terminal. And it will cost somewhere around $1 million or well over $4 million.

Articles in the local News-Leader newspaper and online publications The Observer and Independent have never fully explained this mysterious building. Not because they don’t want to I don’t think. But I believe, because they have no idea what the hell is going on and maybe don’t want to appear “uninformed” by asking questions that they think would have those in charge of this confusion intimidating them by pointing, rolling their eyes, and snickering. Editors and reporters want readers to think they know what’s happening. For example an Observer article Thursday, Feb. 9  had a story headlined “Airport Welcome Center preparing for takeoff” while the next day, Feb. 10, the News-Leader had a front page article headlined: “Airport terminal plans hit turbulence.” Well, those reports should certainly clear things up. When challenged our local crack editors and reporters are known to confidently fire back with a cocky sneer and a: “YEH! Well, oh YEH!”

Our new airport welcome center?

I don’t want to come across as a rumormonger, naysayer or nitpicker but I’m beginning to think that the folks involved in whatever this airport caper is may have come here from Area 51 in Nevada or someone is in the process of successfully pulling off one of the biggest and most expensive practical jokes in Amelia Island’s aviation history.

As background here’s everything I know about terminals and welcome centers.

I became an adolescent expert on welcome centers as an expatriate Canadian growing up in Tampa and making frequent summer car trips from Tampa to St. Thomas, Ontario and back with my widowed mom in the days before there was an Interstate Highway System.

Welcome centers were those buildings located just inside the state line or in “historic downtowns” such as Fernandina Beach. On the Florida state line they resembled giant oranges where pretty girls dressed up like kumquats would greet you with big smiles, cups of free orange juice (which everybody wanted) and grapefruit juice (which nobody wanted), Florida maps, and brochures describing Silver Springs, Cypress Gardens, and Booger’s Reptile Ranch. Those were also the days when you could buy a gross of cherry bombs and M-80s the minute you crossed into Georgia, a purchase impossible today unless you have a federal explosives license. Because of their waterproof fuses and the fact they sank, my Canadian cousins and our friends discovered it was much more expedient catching perch and smelt in Lake Erie using these miniature explosives than an old fashioned rod and reel or net.

Oh, speaking of Georgia and airports, folks there brag that the Atlanta airport is the busiest in the world, which to me is like boasting that you have the nation’s most severe case of hemorrhoids. NEWS ALERT: People are prohibited from taking alligators or other wild animals from reptile ranches and alligator farms like Booger’s. That’s because of incidents of them being used as deadly weapons like the one reported last week by Jacksonville’s Action News where a Florida man was charged with aggravated assault after he threw an alligator through a drive-through window at Wendy’s. Now back to the airport mystery building report.

If you want to see what Fernandina’s old welcome center looked like take a peek over piano man John Springer’s shoulder the next time you’re at the downtown Alley Cat on a Thursday or Saturday evening. The large glass pyramid-like building painted in the wall mural behind John was the city welcome center where native women in their colorful kumquat costumes handed out cups of free orange juice and locks of David Yulee’s hair to tourists. Today you have to go to the old train station, walk past a bronze statue of Yulee, Florida’s most notorious slave-owning scallywag, and into the depot to get a handful of brochures from a cheery volunteer who, disappointingly, is not dressed as a kumquat. The free orange juice went the way of the hand painted signs advertising “Gator Rasslin Just Ahed” and “Gud Smoked Mulet 100 Yards.”

As for terminals, during my corporate communications and PR agency days I probably spent more time in airport terminals than I did in an office. In the early days it was great, because there were no cell phones or Internet so once you were at the airport terminal nobody could pester you with “just one more thing to change to the presentation.” It worked the other way around too when you realized that once airborne, just after lowering your tray table and opening your brief case that you left the presentation at home and are taking your kid’s 9th grade science fair project to Schenectady.

“I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf, and just go there, to the Y.M.C.A; I’m sure they can help you today.”

Airport terminals that I frequented had restaurants, bars, gift shops, book stores, newsstands, fast food joints, shoe shine stands, rental car desks; bald-headed, very annoying Hare Krishna followers in orange robes (kumquat wannabe’s?); ashtrays and smokers everywhere; banks of pay phones and people waiting for you at your gate when you got off the plane. In an airport bar beers comes in two sizes: A 12 ounce draught for $18 or $72 for a 83 ounce one. Airport bars also don’t have clocks, forcing you to wander all over the airport looking for a pretty girl without a wedding ring to ask what time it is. Oh, and I’ve never seen a “welcome center” at an airport or a sign directing me to one.

The airports I’ve flown in and out of also had control towers. Ours doesn’t. Does that matter? I heard that Fernandina just fired the airport manager. So who do I ask? The local “Smoke ‘n’ Da Cockpit” barbeque team (most all are area air traffic controllers) is probably better informed than our city commissioners, city officials, news outlets, airport experts, etc. and if they don’t have the answers, at least you’ll get a tasty pulled pork sandwich with a side of beans, cole slaw and a drink. The City Commission doesn’t even offer mints.

Will we soon be picking up visitors from commercial flights here? Will air traffic increase? If so what kind of noise can we expect? Will this thing have restaurants? Bars? A community meeting room? Free orange juice? Kumquat girls? Or will it just be for private planes? And if so how does that benefit the majority of residents? If it’s just for private planes let the Ritz Carlton, The Omni Resort and the handful of local’s who have private planes build their own terminal or welcome center and squeeze their own orange juice. What is this thing and how does it benefit the residents? Do we need it? Who wants it?

I understand a lot of the construction money is coming from the federal government (our federal tax dollars) and local city government doesn’t want to let it slip away, but that a big chunk is coming from Fernandina Beach’s general fund and the airport enterprise fund…in other words our local tax money. I’ve seen architectural renderings, heard it would look like an airplane or a cube, read about construction issues, heard the city commission debate construction obstacles, costs, and more.

The only thing I have not heard is what the hell this thing is supposed to be and how local tax paying residents will benefit. Anybody?

Here’s an idea. Put a note in a time capsule in the cornerstone of this mystery building and hundreds of years from now when future inhabitants of the area uncover it and stand there scratching their heads, they’ll read a message that says: “We didn’t know what it was for either. P.S. If you find a huge chest stuffed with cash, it’s impact fee extortion money, another way we figured out how to screw the local tax payers.”

***

Local hottie Crystal Foster, right, and the devastating effect of local impact fees, left.

Speaking Of Those Stinkin’ Impact Fees: If Mel Brooks lived in Fernandina Beach he would have produced and directed “Impact Fees! We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Impact Fees!” a crazed grab bag of a video that does everything to keep you laughing except smack you over the head with a whoopee cushion. And it succeeds.

Unlike a movie theatre, viewers don’t pay to watch the film. But there is a monetary angle, sort of a Jerry Lewis-like fundraiser gone haywire, revealed at the end.

It doesn’t have the refined luster of a Hollywood production and its structure is a total mess. But what does that matter when bearded and pot-bellied local eccentric Pajamadave Voorhees is dressed as a Julie Roberts “Pretty Woman” hooker leaning against Fernandina Beach’s City Hall sign soliciting prospective Johns driving down Ash Street. The only problem viewers will have is that it’s too short at seven minutes. They’ll definitely want more.

Viewers will also have fun trying to identify a variety of locals who make cameo appearances. The casting call from Zan Maddox, PJ Dave’s fiancé, the film’s producer, director, grip, script writer, gopher, beer-holder, camera-person, etc., resembled Hedley Lamarr’s request to Taggart in Blazing Saddles when he said to him: “I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, and Methodists!”

“Mongo no like impact fees.”

The only thing missing is Mongo riding down Centre Street on an ox knocking a bronze David Yulee sky-high off of his train depot bench with a undercut right hook to the jaw? And there’s no black railroad workers singing “I Get A Kick Out Of You” on CSX’s Front Street rail line. For that we’ll have to wait for “Impact Fees – The Stinkin’ Sequel.”

The video, which makes a statement, is very funny. (Full disclosure here: I make my silent movie debut in this talkie film as a non-verbal sheriff).

The story line involves Fernandina Beach’s shady public works department intent on squeezing prospective bar owner PJ Dave for $7,632 ($318 for each of the 24 seats) in extorted impact fees and Dave’s bizarre and frantic attempts to raise the funds. It involves Dave realizing that he must raise the requested money or his life-long dream of opening his Cheers-like PJD’s bar on South 2nd Street will abruptly end with Public Utilities Director John Mandrick cackling as he twirls his Snidely Whiplash moustache. Will he tie the buxom, blonde beauty, Zan, to the CSX railroad tracks, Nell Fenfick style, if the extorted funds aren’t secured? Watch the video to find out.

Folks who have seen the 1965 film Cat Ballou will also appreciate the unique role local musician Dan Voll plays as he appears in the background and in between scenes brilliantly strumming tunes appropriate to each episode on his guitar. His role is similar to Nat King Cole and Stubby Kaye in Cat Ballou who play a couple of ballad singers, and move into the picture at intervals to sing about what’s going on.

The film, which probably cost $11.99, the price of a case of Bud Light on sale at Winn Dixie, was shot locally on an iPhone. Its purpose is to help Dave & Zan raise funds to pay the outrageous impact fees demanded by the city’s Snidely Whiplash-like public works director Mandrick through a Kickstarter campaign and to promote the new PJD tavern.

To watch the film click on the link https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/537958096/pjds-beer-and-wine-garden and then if so inclined follow directions at the end of the video. Or you can go to Kickstarter.com and type in PJD’s. If none of that works call ’em at 904/310-9314 and ask where you went wrong.

In my opinion, Zan and Dave did a terrific job of creating a very funny video on a shoestring, going beyond slapstick, poking fun at people who deserve it, and embracing excess.

Guest Commentary

(Patrick Keogh, a friend, long-time Fernandina Beach resident, entrepreneur, attorney, out spoken city critic and business owner who took his capital and fled Amelia Island for Austin, Texas because of the city’s unfair and extortionist impact fees, offered this serious and thought-provoking  commentary as the country celebrates Black History Month.)

February is Black History Month and we reflect on the costs to and contributions from African Americans throughout our history. I also think it is important for us to reflect on the contributions made by those 646,000 Union casualties in preserving our Union and redeeming America’s original sin of slavery.

The cost to preserve the Union and end America’s original sin was high. Abraham Lincoln has earned much of the credit for that and with the war won he soon paid for it with his life. Although Lincoln’s abhorrence of slavery was clear he famously wrote “If I could save the Union without freeing any slave, I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves, I would do it… What I do about Slavery and the colored race, I do because I believe it helps to save the Union”.   So it might be said that emancipation was an incidental result of Lincoln’s primary objective.

Alexis de Tocqueville saw the impending American conflict in his two volume Democracy in America when he wrote in the 1830s that “Slavery in the Southern states cannot survive. By the act of the master, or by the will of the slave, it will cease; and in either case great calamities may be expected to ensue”. And that calamity came to pass a generation later in our Civil War.

The American Civil War remains our most costly war in terms of lives lost. It is estimated the Union alone sustained over 364,000 deaths and suffered about 282,000 wounded in the course of the war. When you include the families and communities affected by these 646,000 casualties the cost to the nation was enormous. For a long time I have believed the price paid by these 646,000 has not been fully recognized in our country.

In a little known way, our Civil War was an international conflict. No fewer than one in four Union soldiers were foreign born. Some 543,000 of the total two million who took up Union arms were immigrants. Some 43% of the Union force were immigrants or sons of immigrants. Relatively few fought for the Confederacy.

It’s interesting to note that of the 543,000 immigrant Union soldiers some 200,000 are believed to have migrated from what is now Germany and another 150,000 came from Ireland. No doubt some came here for economic reasons. I doubt they came to preserve the Union. I like to think they fought and died here to secure a freedom for themselves and their fellow man in the new world that they had been unable to achieve under Europe’s autocracies.

***

Drinking, Dancing & Dining: If you want a fun evening, cold beer, great mixed drinks, and a more than convivial atmosphere then head for the 31 North 2nd Street Crab Trap where the folks that run this iconic tavern and restaurant are as fun and friendly as the group of regulars that frequent the downstairs bar every Wednesday from 5 p.m. till just after happy hour munching wing specials and two buck drafts. Owner Choo Choo Germano, his general manager daughter Holly and manager Brandi Kendrick stay busier than one armed paper hangers but still find time to kick back and chat with customers, making each one feel special. They also don’t forget their regulars when they’re in an “I’ve fallen over and can’t get up” mode even though they didn’t get that way at the Trap. Try the Trap’s all-day ’til 6 p.m. $10 Saturday fried shrimp special (hushpuppies, slaw and fries included) with $1 margaritas and their $19 Sunday two-for-the-price-of-one lobsters, possibly the best weekend restaurant deals on the island. Call ’em at 904/261-4749.

 

13 Comments

Michael Irvine

17 March , 2017 at 4:44 pm

Dave, Great blog But, robin Lentz's comments about enterprise funds is interesting because the FB Golf Course loses a lot of money each year so it cannot stand by itself ( figure I heard was $2.2 million in the first five years under Casper Golf Management and the City wants to buy the Amelia River Golf Course and shut it down which takes away the $200,000 lease payments to the Airport which is THE major income used to operate the airport. Explain the rationale for this if you can please. Makes NO sense to me!

Dave Lott

21 February , 2017 at 11:31 am

Dave, A little bit of clarification about the funding of the airport's "welcome center". The funds come from the FAA / FDOT and are NOT taxpayer monies but from revenues received by the FAA from commercial airport fees around the country. As Mayor Robin Lentz indicated, as an enterprise fund, the airport is self-sufficient from a revenue standpoint. If it turns out that the City Commission approves the construction bid (not the same company as the airport consult Passero although Passero will serve as the project manager and be paid another fee for that) and there aren't sufficient funds in the airport enterprise fund, then the City will loan the funds and be repaid by the enterprise fund. Seek out and talk to Mr. Brian Echard who has his office on Centre Street and will serve as the owner of the new Fixed Based Operator as Eight Flags Aviation. Brian has been working on his operation for more than five years with major investments of his money. I haven't spoken with Brian about his views about the building's concept but know that he is looking to establish a first class operation for FB's general aviation community. Yes, the lifeblood for the FBO is the corporate aircraft bringing folks (no scheduled commercial flights) but the current FBO facility is a deteriorating facility that certainly doesn't provide a good first impression. And Foggy Bystander is right on target. John Mandrick does have a "tell it like it is" personality, but the impact/capacity fees are fees that are the City Commission authorizes each and every year and John would not be doing his job if he didn't collect those fees when they are appropriately due. One can legitimately argue the business rationale behind those fees, but to vilify an individual who is only doing their job might be entertaining to some but unfair in my opinion.

Vince

21 February , 2017 at 11:23 am

Thanks for the article and for bringing this sham before the public. Arr.Trocks noted the crux of the issue, no independent assessment of the rationale for this project. The airport terminal idea sprung from the notion the "government" had 850K in free money which would either be used for a terminal or it would be withdrawn. So, rather than assess whether a terminal was needed, the decision was made to get the money and generate an approximate cost for a terminal at $1.25M. There was no assessment of need, just a decision to get the 850K "free money". Then ideas were added to call it a welcome center, add some aspects of city services onto the now renamed welcome center and making it visually remarkable. The estimates zoomed up to a current $4 million plus or minus 20% for what has become a welcome center incorporating some city offices. Now comes reality, how to pay. IOW, with bids out for construction, it is now when someone asks how do we pay for it? Reading between the lines in a recent News Leader (sorry to bring them up) article, it seems the current plan maybe to sell the Amelia River Course which lease currently brings in 200K a year keeping the "enterprise fund" solvent. Other plans seems to include scaling down the visual aspects of the terminal, giving rent rebates to the FBO for structural upgrades they may make to the terminal portion and loans. Lastly, someone mentioned the amount of consultant funds that have been expended already as if there is so such an impetus generated from the "free money" along with enterprise funds expended, there is no going back. The irony is the new design incorporated a US Navy plane from the 40s into a desire by a few to push for a 21st century intercontinental air facility. They tried it before with a proposed runway expansion to 7000 feet, by having the airport upgraded to reliever status by the FAA to place higher on the list for grants, and by trying to have the FAA put a tower here. Those ideas were squelched by the public. IMO, this is a wasteful project launched in the same vane without even considering the impact on quality of life issues. It is couched in the fog of free money. Nothing is free.

Foggy McBystander

17 February , 2017 at 2:26 pm

The thing I have never understood in my observation of the local-businessfolk-vs.-impact-fees saga over the years, which I've mostly read about on this blog, is why Mr. Mandrick draws ire personally. Is he not a city employee? If he were doing his job improperly and in defiance of city leaders and city policy, would he not get reprimanded or dismissed, such as we have seen in recent years in other city departments? If not, why not? Is his department semi-autonomous? Can he make up his own policies without approval of the council/manager? Wouldn't that have to be the case in order for him to catch the blame here? Is he not accountable to anyone? Am I missing something? He is variably described as a petit dictator, a mobster, an extortionist, a highway robber, etc., but is he doing something other than carrying out the will of the elected and appointed leaders of the city? If he quit tomorrow, would his replacement be empowered to do something differently, or would they have to enforce the same unpopular policies if they wanted to keep their job? People (such as, but not limited to, Mr. Keogh in his comment on this post) speak of having to "pay Mandrick," but is that right? Aren't they really and ultimately paying the city and isn't that distinction important when it comes time to protest? Correct me if I'm wrong on this, I mean it, but do you shoot the messenger here? If you don't like your tax bill, do you savage the tax collector or your congressman / county commissioner? Is Mr. Mandrick the messenger here or something more? My assumption is that it is the role of the person in Mr. Mandrick's position to implement the policy of the city, whether that policy has its own problems or not. If the policy is bad, prohibitive, unjust, or even illegal as is often reference here, shouldn't the council and/or city manager be the ultimate target of the businesspeople's and residents' ire? Why is Mr. Mandrick's the throat that so often gets publicly choked? Why does anyone imply that this is his personal will and that his allegedly improper/unjust actions in his role are merely sanctioned by the city's government as though the council is just a passive official shield for his personal dastardly designs instead of the originators of them? See for example Mr. Keogh's comment on this post, which characterizes the impact fee scenario as "just a shakedown done under authority of government". Wouldn't it be more proper, if one wanted to criticize it, to say it's a shakedown BY the government directly instead of just as a sanctioner of some individual's crooked whims? Or is Mr. Mandrick more personally responsible for it? Today's post has some funny, old-movie, mustache-twirling imagery, but prior posts have been less humorous, more malignant, and more direct about Mr. Mandrick's seeming personal culpability in this. What would his personal motivations be here if he were in fact the root of the problem? Is anyone suggesting that he keeps any of this impact fee money himself via either malfeasance (embezzlement) or just officially on the books in his department (some kind of budget hogging)? What does he get out of this, if anything? Is it less of a policy issue and more of a personality/style issue? Is he personally abrasive, dismissive, rigid, humiliating, etc. in his dealings with businesspeople? If so, that stinks, and something should be done about it, but we still otherwise have the policy issue to deal with, don't we? Does he exceed or misuse or misapply the powers of his position? I've experienced that with county staff and it is infuriating and unjust, because you know they know that what they're doing is wrong. But again that would sound like a personnel matter to be addressed, not a policy matter, and this continues to sound like a policy matter. Is it both? I feel like I've heard something about mis-charged fees in the past, or restaurant owners who pushed back and were able to win a lower rate, implying some kind of discretion on his part, but the bigger issue seems to be the concept of the fees to start with, and their legality, and who put them in place. This isn't a defense of Mr. Mandrick or an attack on the council or manager, none of whom I have dealt with. It's an earnest appeal for additional information to help me connect A to B as I observe the flavor and trajectory of this discontent. I want to understand the issue so I can participate in the dialogue intelligently or at least vote accordingly. And to date I still don't understand the Mandrick part of it. Can someone please summarize the justification for the Mandrick blaming for me? If he deserves blame personally for stifling and extorting local business, what's the case for that? If he doesn't, shouldn't the protests and ill will be retargeted? Is it fair to personally and publicly malign someone for doing their assigned job? If both he AND city leaders deserve to be flogged for different reasons on this matter, I would appreciate some clarification from those directly affected and informed on this; I'd like to see the critiques clarified, enumerated, separated, and then reapplied around the appropriate throats.

Arr.Trocks

17 February , 2017 at 12:08 pm

One could write a very long novel about the City misdeeds in concert with the airport.You and I could live very well on the city taxpayers money wasted in lost law suits.Now comes this boondoggle.The main reason no one knows what the welcome center looks like is it was designed by the consulting firm they hired to tell them if it was a good idea or not.Oh,then they hired the same consultants to build the thing.You can't make this stuff up.No matter who is in office,the results are the same ,left hand not telling righty what's up!!

Pat Keogh

17 February , 2017 at 11:55 am

Dave: Good to keep the unlawful impact fees in the forefront. This new bar will not create the need for any new water, sewer, parks or transportation facilities. To meet those needs are the only purposes for which impact fees may be used. They are fees, not taxes, and the fees are to pay to ameliorate the impact caused by new development. For example, they may not lawfully be used for maintenance of existing facilities. In two separate trials the FL courts made that painfully and expensively clear to the City. Improperly used impact fees are an unlawful tax. If the new proprietor does not pay Mandrick the $7,632 then he will not issue a certificate of occupancy. It's just a shakedown done under authority of government. It is also an anti progress tax. Imagine the shakedown fees involved in converting the old post office to a new use or for the redevelopment of the waterfront.

Jeff McDowell

17 February , 2017 at 11:35 am

Dave, Here's a thought. Instead of designing a building to resemble a Corsair, Let's design a building that looks like a B-2 Stealth bomber. You can't see it, so we can tell everyone its there, and then we can siphon off $7500 bucks for PJD's new joint, pocket the rest and be knee-deep in Joey's Muffalettas and overpriced Miller Lites. As for the "I don’t want to come across as a rumormonger, naysayer or nitpicker" remark, if that's true, where have I been getting all my rumors and nits, as of late? I'm afraid its you. Great blog, a tad heavy on the Mel Brooks, (fine with me!) but great.

Steven Crounse

17 February , 2017 at 10:56 am

Dave, The airport Welcome center/Terminal reminds me of the Bradford Central School, that was build back in the 1990's. It was going to cost the Taxpayers of the Community "practically nothing". Grant monies from the State and Federal Governments (Someone else's tax Money) The Community had a K thu 12 Brick School, Circa 1939 that was only half utilized. But hey, "Free" How can you turn it down? the new Campus, was out of Town. Which now needed a Fleet of Buses. Well turned out, the cost of maintenance on the Buildings, Utilities, Buses, and Sports Fields, and the hiring of additional personnel, Superintendent of Schools, Psychologist, Guidance Counsellors, Special Education Teacher. Etc, Etc. to meet State Requirements, It busted the bank in our small community. School Taxes went through the Roof. This is a Central School for 350 kids, our boys graduated, in a senior class of 11 and 21. They are now looking to Consolidate with another Community. Beware, There is no such thing as Free Money. EVER.!!

cliff johnson

17 February , 2017 at 9:33 am

Dave - Thanks for the update on the whirling dervish of a building they plan at the airport. I wonder if the plans include putting up a Ferris wheel as well? Cliff

Joe

17 February , 2017 at 8:02 am

Lets put the old TEE PEE back on the airport grounds. Who knows what might drop out of the sky.

Betsy

17 February , 2017 at 7:43 am

Can't click on the link for Kickstarter.

Robin Lentz

17 February , 2017 at 7:35 am

Dave- I'll write more when I have time but want to make sure you understand the airport is 1 of 4 enterprise funds in the city, including the marina, golf course and water/sewer utility. The airport and water utility make their own money and require NOTHING from the general fund.

david freilich

17 February , 2017 at 7:13 am

In the late 1960's, in my hometown of Ashtabula, Ohio (on Lake Erie), someone built a gas station that resembled a flying saucer, complete with a glass-topped bubble that pulsed blue light every 2 seconds or so. The gas attendants worked out of the cylinder-shaped base of the saucer, and the customers were protected from the elements by the large round "wing" that extended aloft, over the pumps. It was a real tourist attraction, as well. The folks in City Hall who run the Hall here on Amelia might wish to consider a saucer design for the new welcome center, versus the corsair.......With any luck, it would take off along with the city poobahs, head north, make a final pass by Alachua and Center Streets (another fiasco in the making) , and never return.

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