Fernandina’s top cop, Police Chief Jeffery Tambasco, took his unintended stand-up comedy routine public and attracted the attention of local resident, internationally acclaimed author, and columnist Ken Timmerman.
Last week after observing the chief speak prior to a Menorah lighting in a downtown Fernandina Beach pocket park Ken satirically wrote: “Breaking News! Fernandina Beach Chief of Police Jeffrey Tambasco welcomes both men and women to Fernandina!”
Ken explained adding: “In brief comments on Wednesday, Dec. 17, at the annual Menorah lighting at a pocket park on Centre, Chief Jeffrey Tambasco claimed our town was a welcoming place. ‘We welcome all religions, all genders, and all nationalities,’ the chief said without batting an eye.”
Giving credit to the local rabbi for stifling his laughter, Timmerman added: “Great credit must be given Rabbi Levi Katz of the local Chabad congregation, who managed to keep a straight face through the chief’s absurd statement.” Ken, a NY Times Best Selling author and war correspondent, who has penned several books, had an eye-opening suggestion for the befuddled Tambasco: “Perhaps the chief should visit a maternity ward.”
Ken’s comment in an online local busybody gossip column called Nextdoor caused a handful of area liberals (aka Democrats) to recoil in horror and respond in pearl-clutching shock as he suggested that the oblivious chief visit a maternity ward. This outraged the liberal locals who retorted with their standard scientific biological hypothesis of “YEH! WELL, OH YEH!”
“Why should he do that?” a couple of choleric flat-earthers indignantly asked Ken, aghast that anyone would question their fantasy of an alphabet soup (LGBTQIAS, etc.) of sexes rather than the two (male and female) scientifically and irrefutably established shortly following conception and conclusively confirmed at birth.
The indisputable reality that there are but two sexes is as hard to grasp for these confused people as the facts that water is wet and Donald Trump is president.
Like Jiminy Cricket, these folks can wish upon all the stars they want, but unlike Mr. Cricket their delusions of guys becoming gals and vice versa will never happen anymore than their expectations that the rest of us should pretend along with them that it will.
Guys in bikinis wearing lipstick and sitting in bubble baths, sipping on Bud Light’s, pretending to be gals don’t need encouragement, they need psychiatric care as badly as Chief Tambasco needs a biology lesson. Also, If Bud Light’s marketing department had plopped Sydney Sweeny in that tub it couldn’t have brewed enough beer to meet the demand, but that’s a topic for another day.
Fernandina should hope Ken keeps his amusing observations local and doesn’t decide to skewer the chief and the city’s science deniers on a national stage.
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Hey Coach! Take Him Out: A number of weeks ago (September 26 https://www.davescottblog.com/fernandinas-top-cop-not-best-boss-award-candidate-media-local-cops-say-chief-a-disaster-morale-tanked/ ) I reported here that Fernandina’s Chief of Police Jeffrey Tambasco was extremely unpopular among the cops on the city’s police force and that his department was hemorrhaging experienced officers fed up with his indifference and lack of leadership.
News outlets in Jacksonville and Fernandina had previously reported on his lack of tact, lousy management style, spotty experience, and the grumbling among the rank and file. Nothing has changed.
In her tepid response to the media’s withering public criticism Fernandina Beach City Manager Sarah Campbell said she was coaching the chief and would continue to do so. She told Jacksonville’s FOLIO that she still has confidence in Tambasco and “will continue to coach the chief as I do with all of our department directors.”
OK, Coach Campbell how’s that tutoring going? Because what I continue to hear among the local police force is that the cops are just as discontent now as they were three months ago. Also, how does Ms. Campbell, who as far as I know, lacks any law enforcement experience, coach a police chief? That’s like asking a chess theorist to instruct the Chicago Bears’ linebackers.
Has the city considered conducting an employee survey to gauge the morale of these crucial employees?
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Speaking Of A City Brouhaha: Local resident Mac Morriss penned an eye-opening opinion editorial in the December 24 News Leader further opposing the paid parking scam being vigorously perpetuated by four members of the City Commission, one a shrewd schemer and three inept bobbleheads (my words, not Mac’s).
Morriss, an online administrator of Facebook group “Amelia Island, Fernandina Beach, Nassau County Network”, produced some interesting facts in opposition to the convoluted paid parking scheme, adding to the growing sentiment that it’s a scam providing the four Commissioners a piggy bank to spend on whatever they want without voter oversight.
They are:
- Of the two public petitions 8,615 signers were against paid parking and a minuscule 190 were for it.
- Morriss says the money for the infrastructure projects the commission quartet screams are vital is readily available through city budget cuts, state grants, fee and permit increases, and a share of the Tourist Development Council’s bed tax.
- Citizen organizations against paid parking indicate through their independent polls that 98 percent of the community is against parking meters.
Personally I have yet to meet a single resident or business owner who wants paid parking downtown.
Darron Ayscue is the lone City Commissioner not going along with the unpopular scam to have meters pick pockets and inconvenience shoppers. He has adamantly protested the efforts of the quarrelsome quartet to their deaf ears.
According to Morriss the only business beneficiaries of paid parking would be city restaurants, whose customers he says are eager to eat, then leave, thus opening a parking space for another hungry patron. Maybe it’s just coincidence that paid parking’s strongest advocate is Commissioner Tim Poynter, whose downtown businesses are all involved in selling food and drinks.
I have yet to talk to or hear from one Fernandina retail merchant who thinks paid parking is a good idea. As Morriss points out in his piece: “Fewer purchases are made when customers are rushing to beat the clock.”
Paid parking, Morriss says, would destroy Fernandina’s relaxed, charming, small town identity. Norman Rockwell would probably agree.
Business boosters, Chamber of Commerce and Fernandina’s Main Street, have both been conspicuously quiet on the paid parking issue, not taking sides. Why? Aren’t they supposed to promote downtown businesses that pay annual dues to them?
In its year-end message Main Street touted an impressive variety of the year’s past programs. Under the leadership of Lori Huppmann the organization is running circles around the moribund Chamber of Commerce, which totally ignores the elephant on Centre Street – paid parking.
Isn’t the Chamber of Commerce supposed to promote local businesses that pay to be members? The organization is a total waste of member funds other than to pay a useless and unproductive staff to sit on their hands. Where’s the Chamber’s year-end list of accomplishments? It appears to be a blank page.
The Chamber could have promoted potential solutions such as reducing or eliminating impact and building fees, and improving the city regulatory environment. Or how about monetizing (“privatizing”) dormant city-owned real estate assets? Or advocating for favorable tax treatment or discounts for property improvements?
The Chamber of Commerce is a totally impotent and inept organization, and I can’t figure out what benefit a business realizes from being a member. The organization is a total waste of member funds other than to pay a useless and unproductive staff to sit on their hands.
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Unlovable Loser: Folks who haven’t given much thought to the paid parking issue only need to read or listen to Fernandina far-left gadfly and screecher, Sheila Cocchi, to realize what a bad idea it is. If this gal is for it, then something must be dreadfully wrong with the concept.
Cocchi, a perennial “professional” protestor who has an irrational dislike of all things conservative, deflected all the issues she’s ever been accused of onto Morriss. She spouts talking points she is given by others. Her comic antics take on the aspects of programmed buffoonery.
Cocchi is notorious for organizing at least two phony “Aaron Bean Town Halls” knowing full well that Congressman Bean would be in D.C. thus hoping to make it look like he was avoiding public meetings. Who pays for Cocchi’s venues, literature, and time? She accused Mr. Morriss of all the things she is repeatedly guilty of doing. The difference is Morriss has detailed his information and financial sources in public sessions and in print. Cocchi has not. This woman has zero credibility and is nothing more than a tantrum throwing liberal berserk with rage and paranoia.
The only thing she’s good at doing is making a ridiculously public entertaining spectacle of herself.
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Things I Wish I’d Said: “Since forty I have been regular about going to bed and getting up – and that is one of the main things. I have made it a rule to go to bed when there wasn’t anybody left to sit up with; and I have made it a rule to get up when I had to. This has resulted in an unswerving regularity of irregularity.” – Mark Twain
You are so right about the paid parking scandal and to top it all off, the hilarious Sheila Cocchi support for paid parking. She fills Facebook pages with delusional
statements and must have hired a good writer for her Voice of the People article recently published in the News-Leader.
Happy New Year Dave!!
I had the pleasure of working, alongside of Mac Morriss and several other city tax paying residents for over a half year when we volunteered on the Beach Access Committee (BAC) Mac is pro-Fernandina Beach all the way, professional and an asset for our town and this community.
Dave —
For reasons I do not understand, your always humorous blog disappeared from my email and has now resurfaced! I can rejoin Terry Jenkins in wondering when some target of yours finally decides to return the fire! Happy New Year.
The goal is to get out-of-towners to pay–but what if they don’t?
Overall, the percentage of uncollectible parking fees is a significant issue for Florida municipalities, often ranging between 30% and 60% depending on the specific location’s enforcement policies and the age of the debt–New Smyrna Beach had an outstanding balance of unpaid parking tickets upwards of $70,000, with officials noting many violators “never intended to pay it”–Neptune Beach nearly $500,000!
There is a big hole in the bottom of the “make outsiders-pay” bucket.
And there are better ways to make foreigners pay–stop this madness now.
1- Happy New Year, Dave.
2- Paid Parking is just a different aspect of the Grand Delusion that OPM (Other People’s Money), packaged and sold to the public as various forms of “User Fees”, will somehow reduce their taxes and/or overall cost of living.
City commissioners including Ayscue, in my view, are in the job for one reason only; their personal celebrity. It certainly has nothing to do with public service. It’s all about their long running soap opera. This parking topic fills their theater aka the city chambers and even gives the likes of Poynter celebrity exposure in the Jacksonville media. The city has the money they supposedly need in the nonperforming assets they control. Check out the Nassau County Appraiser’s site and simply enter “City of Fernandina Beach” as the owner to see all the dormant capital they control.
Happy New Year, Dave
1. Tambasco with his absurd, politically correct pandering “all genders” schpiel and ineffective management style.
2. Paid parking, a widely opposed, ineffective “solution” to what is actually a SPENDING problem.
3. Chamber of Commerce lack of effectiveness. (I noticed how rapidly the former head of it was “retired” when she labeled the county “anti-business).
4. and lastly,. Sheila Cocchi (groan!)
Right on all counts, as usual, Dave.
Al: Regarding getting out of towners to pay: Collect fees from businesses, build it into merchant prices and offer local discounts.
Fernandina’s Main Street, has been conspicuously quiet on the paid parking issue… Why? Aren’t they supposed to promote downtown businesses that pay annual dues to them?
The City pays $30,000 annually to Main Street.
Don’t expect Main Street to represent the downtown businesses…..
Ah yes, the classic “I don’t like the messenger, therefore the message is evil” argument. Truly a timeless pillar of intellectual rigor. By that logic, if Sheila Cocchi supports breathable air, we should all start holding our breath just to own the libs.
The idea that paid parking is automatically “dreadfully wrong” because a liberal activist supports it is… impressive. Not factually impressive, but performance-art impressive. Why debate policy when you can just scream “far-left gadfly” and call it analysis?
Paid parking isn’t Marxism. It’s not a secret Soros plot. It’s a boring, painfully practical tool used by beach towns all over the country to manage crowds, reduce chaos, and fund maintenance. You know—roads, bathrooms, dune protection, actual stuff. But sure, let’s ignore all that because someone we don’t like agrees with it.
And the irony here is rich: accusing someone of “tantrums” while typing an entire rage-novella of personal insults instead of addressing the policy. Chef’s kiss. If paid parking were really such an obvious disaster, it should be easy to explain why without launching into a character assassination speedrun.
Bottom line: paid parking doesn’t care who supports it. It works or it doesn’t. Screaming about liberals, protesters, and imagined conspiracies won’t magically make parking spots appear—or keep Amelia Island from being overrun every weekend.
But hey, if frothing outrage is the goal instead of solutions, carry on. The rest of us will be over here discussing grown-up ideas
Ah, Ken Timmerman, the self-proclaimed genius who somehow thinks his “amusing observations” are the gold standard of political commentary. So, he’s a “best-selling author,” huh? That’s cute. I mean, if you call peddling conservative propaganda in book form “best-selling”—and no, let’s not pretend those books are pulling in millions of readers unless we’re talking about a few hundred folks who love hearing the same tired rants recycled over and over. But hey, who needs a broad, diverse audience when you can just keep selling to the same echo chamber that loves hearing what they already believe? “Best-selling” in this case probably means a few thousand copies to a niche market that loves reading books that make them feel good about their outdated views. Great accomplishment, Ken. Really impressive.
Now, back to this “satirical masterpiece” of his about Chief Tambasco’s inclusivity comment. Suggesting the chief needs a biology lesson? Really, Ken? Maybe you need the lesson. Just because something doesn’t fit into your narrow little worldview doesn’t mean it’s absurd, but you keep doubling down on this ridiculous idea that anyone who doesn’t fit into your neat little gender box must be delusional. It’s almost like you’ve never bothered to consider that the world is a little more complex than “male” and “female.” But why bother with facts when you can make cheap jokes that get a few chuckles from your equally uninformed audience, right?
And then the whole “two sexes, scientifically irrefutable” argument—wow, what a hot take. Groundbreaking. Newsflash, Ken: biology is more complicated than just “XX and XY” when you take into account things like intersex people, genetics, and the actual science of how sex and gender don’t always line up the way you want them to. But that’s okay, Ken, because we all know you’re a science expert with a knack for distorting facts to suit your very limited narrative. If Ken had his way, we’d probably still be arguing about whether the earth was flat.
And don’t even get me started on Dave’s need to bring up Bud Light and Sydney Sweeney in this mess. It’s like Dave is reading from the same playbook of outdated culture wars with a dash of “men in bikinis” for shock value, which is so 2015. Maybe the real question is: if Dave and Ken keep dragging up these outdated rants, do they realize no one cares anymore? The world has moved on, and if they want to stay stuck in the past, that’s their choice. But let’s not pretend like that makes Ken some kind of “nationally acclaimed” voice of reason. The truth is, Ken’s brand of conservative fiction is best kept to the dusty shelves of niche bookstores, where the echo chamber can happily re-read the same tired rants without anyone else challenging them
Jake (the original) takes 450+ words to declare that “nobody cares”. He/she/they/it rejects Dave’s premise and conclusions while providing NO evidence or concrete examples that support his/her/their counter-point of view.
Me thinks Jake is writing satire. And a very good job of satire it is.
John, musings, opinions, observations, questions and random thoughts don’t necessarily warrant a response that includes the type of information you are looking for. Nevertheless, many scientists argue that biological sex is more complex than a strict male/female binary because it is determined by multiple biological factors—chromosomes, hormones, gonads, internal reproductive organs, and external anatomy—which do not always align in the same way. While most people can be categorized as male or female, naturally occurring variations exist, such as intersex traits, where an individual’s biology does not fit typical definitions of either category. These variations are well documented in genetics and developmental biology and include chromosome patterns beyond XX and XY, as well as differences in hormone response and sexual development.
As a result, many researchers describe sex as multidimensional rather than binary: a set of biological characteristics that usually cluster into two common patterns but also appear in less common combinations. This view does not deny that male and female categories are biologically meaningful or common; rather, it recognizes that human biology includes real, natural diversity that cannot be fully explained by a rigid two-sex model.
So, start by loosening your belt and taking a look at what is or isn’t there. But then, open your heart and look inside your soul.
Gotcha!