If you’re in town November 19, make sure to attend the Fernandina Beach City Commission “workshop” beginning at 5 p.m. at city hall. Get there early for a good seat and get ready for some aisle-rolling, knee-slapping, laugh-out-loud material as two wild and wacky Commissioners — Johnny “Moonbeam” Miller and the smirking Mike “Left Coast” Lednovich — team up to perform their “Plastic Straws” routine.
That’s right folks, this is an entire City Commission workshop devoted to “Plastic Straws” starring two of the city’s zaniest politicos.
A note from City Manager Dale Martin’s office alerted me to the performance, oops, I mean workshop, and Administrative Services Manager Nicole Bednar confirmed to me that the session was placed on the agenda July 2 by Moonbeam with Left Coast suggesting the workshop. However, she didn’t refer to them by their stage names.
I’m not privy to what’s in the skit, but insiders tell me that the Moonbeam-Left Coast Plastic Straw sketch will make Monty Python’s Search for the Holy Grail and Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles look like serious dramas. This “do not miss” show should keep the audience in stitches as the two describe how plastic straws are destroying the environment, melting glaciers, raising sea levels, eliminating endangered species, and terrifying small children.
From what I understand it’s a routine that borrows heavily from material performed at similar venues in California for the past several years and the duo have adapted generously from that for their Fernandina Beach audience.
The performance is rated PG but is not recommended for the extremely dim and gullible.
In other environmental shenanigans and performances, the trio of local extremist groups – Amelia Tree Conservancy (ATC), Conserve Amelia Now (CAN) and the local branch of the Sierra Club — all hell-bent on leading us out of the muck of our environmental insensitivities, are conjuring up additional plans on how they can continue to seriously aggravate and annoy the vast majority of area residents.
During their most recent politburo session at Story & Song Neighborhood Bookstore Bistro, the three groups met to lick their wounds after Administrative Law Judge E. Gary Early sucked the wind out of their sagging sails squelching their hopes of stopping the Citrona Road Amelia Bluff housing development.
Margaret Kirkland, an ATC board member WHO DOES NOT live in Fernandina Beach, but continuously skulks around in it telling property owners here where they can stick their property rights, said her group is actively seeking other avenues to halt any sign of economic progress in the city.
Her “the end is near” prophesy will soon be realized she says unless commissioners and city management listen to her and legislate that property owners do as she demands with their real estate.
The ill-conceived lawsuit by these three groups cost city taxpayers between $20,000- $30,000 to defend and their suit was funded by contributions including one by their poster-boy politician, “Left Coast” Lednovich, who serves on the City Commission and yet contributes money to sue the city. There is something very, very wrong with this picture.
At their politburo session she lamented the fact that Florida is a state “with strong support for property owners’ rights.” That’s a sharp stick in the eye for the likes of Ms. Kirkland and her zombie-like followers. She suggested to this group of like-minded tree-huggers that they move to infiltrate the city staff and stack the commission by urging “conservationists” to run for office.
Commenting on the losing Amelia Bluff lawsuit she said: “We didn’t have any choice about whether to go forward with this. The community demanded it.” Really? I don’t recall demanding it. None of my friends or neighbors demanded it. The only people I know that demanded it were the handful of loud, obnoxious, anti-property-rights, sign-waving extremists, and Left Coast Lednovich. Oh, and Ms. Kirkland, who DOES NOT live here.
The folks making all these demands are the same people who worship at the alter of Michael Mann, the architect of the discredited ‘Hockey Stick’ graph who tells people to believe the science but was implicated in manipulating data in Climategate and refuses to provide the data to back up his graph.
These people claim superiority over the rights of property owners and when denied the righteousness they feel they are due throw shrieking spittle-flecked tantrums. They’re amusing to watch, but can be financially devastating if not controlled by vigilant citizens at the ballot box. Having more than two “Moonbeams” and “Left Coast” Lednovich’s on the City Commission would not be a laughing matter and would bring the economic curtain down on our community.
Just Wondering: Bernie Sanders said Cuba has the best health care in the world. So, what hospital in Havana did he go to for his heart stint operation?
The Demoban: The Democrat Party is the closest political entity this country has to the Taliban. Like the Taliban its obvious objective is to slow the economy and make everyone dependent on a government run by them. Let’s take a look at what the Democrats have given us so far: ISS and its caliphate, Antifa, Black Lives Matter, the MeToo Movement, a war on police, an open southern border and millions of illegal aliens, and a failed and expensive national health care program, among others. They have no new agenda. Their campaign platform is bleak. In their outrageous “New Green Deal” they’re calling for banning air traffic, outlawing the internal combustion engine, eliminating cows (they fart too much they say), and dismantling the oil and gas industry. I’m not making any of this up, really! In spite of a roaring economy, rising wages, more jobs than job seekers, unemployment at record low levels among all demographics and low inflation, a record-setting stock market, and a healthy and strong military, the bad-news Democrats want to slam the brakes on all of it in an ill-conceived and lame attempt to impeach the president responsible for all the good news. They have no crime, only an impeachment hearing in search of one. In their campaign for the presidency they advocate for socialism and open borders, health care for illegals, slavery reparations (whether you were a slave owner or not) and a guaranteed annual income compliments of the US taxpayer. In regard to the culture they are reduced to promoting gender-free restrooms; telling little girls they can be little boys and telling little boys they can be little girls; transgender rights; and a “white male privilege” program designed to convince masculine white males to become weenies without a cause. Oh, they also want to disarm Americans and get rid of the Second Amendment. They’re also eyeing the First Amendment saying it promotes “hate speech.” The Democrats have become psychotic in the causes they support. I think any member of the Taliban would have as good a chance of winning the Democrat Party’s nomination for President as any of the far left-wing screwballs currently running. I don’t see much difference between the two groups, except not all the Democrats have taken to wearing hijabs and turbans yet.
Dangerous Dems: The US is currently ranked third in the world for murder. I’ve seen statistics that if the numbers for Chicago, Detroit, DC, St Louis and New Orleans were eliminated the country would be 189 out of 193. If Baltimore wasn’t included it might even be 191 of 193. All of these cities are run by liberal Democrats, and most have black police chiefs. It’s culture, not racism. The worst thing that happened to black communities was the welfare program that paid women to have babies and get the man out of the house. It ripped apart an old culture of tight black families and now there are 76% of black babies being born to single mothers, creating a lot of the issues seen today in schools and these communities. The old family culture was destroyed. For what? Can anyone explain this?
Strike Three: Last night at the Sandbar Restaurant & Kitchen at Main Beach I watched the St. Louis Cardinals defeat the Atlanta Braves, 7-6, in a National League Divisional playoff game. I was disappointed at the outcome of the game, but after looking around the restaurant I began wondering “where are the kids?” That was after my pals at the bar and I began reminiscing about how, when we were kids, we’d rush home after school to listen to the games on radio or watch them on TV. The one we were watching last night was one of those rare games that started at 5 p.m. but start times for the remainder of the games is 8 p.m. and later. Any fan that has to get up early the next day is screwed. But baseball should be worried mostly about its future fans, elementary school-aged kids who are in bed by the time the games start. The only kids hereabouts I know that will be allowed to watch this late are two named “Avery” and “Maddux”, the progeny of the delightful and talented former Fernandina Beach Commissioner and Mayor Robin Lentz, one of the most rabid baseball fans I’ve ever met, who named her children after two prominent Braves pitchers. Currently the average age of of viewers watching televised baseball games is is 57, the oldest in professional sports. Unless baseball does something to attract younger viewers it will lose an entire generation of fans. So, instead of worrying about who is going to buy SUV’s and beer, put the games on at a time the kids and grandkids can watch. They’re the future consumers of the crap being advertised and baseball’s future fan base.
Help Wanted? After watching recent television shows and reading a series of articles about student loan debt I’ve come to the conclusion that if I ran a marketing organization and needed to hire crack salespeople, I’d recruit from the administrative staffs of the country’s colleges and universities. How can a 21 or 22-year-old graduate from a four-year educational institution, be saddled with $80,000 or more of debt and have nothing to show for it but a degree in Psychology, African/American Affairs, Women’s Studies, Puppetry Arts, Equestrian Studies, etc.? If those graduates make $30,000 a year — ever — they’ll be lucky. The folks who sold this codswallop to these kids and their parents must be terrific salespeople, just like conman Professor Harold Hill, who sold entire towns on a boy’s band concept in the legendary musical “The Music Man.” It’s these college hucksters and their pyramid organization of down-chain high school counsellor salespeople that I’d be recruiting to staff my sales force…we’d be unstoppable selling ice to Eskimos and sand to Arabs. The top salesperson could be presented with the company’s annual Bernie Madoff award.
Drinking, Dining & Dancing: One of Amelia Island’s most entertaining annual events kicks off this Sunday, October 6, when the Les DeMerle Amelia Island Jazz Festival presents its free Jazz in the Park Concert at 2 p.m. in Amelia Park, between 14th Street and Citrona. The series, which features some of the most celebrated performers in the county, is entering its 16th year and this year’s performances will not disappoint. Trumpeter Jamil Sharif, trombonist Delfeayo Marsalis, local legends of drummer Les DeMerle and his vocalist wife Bonnie Eisle, and many more, will highlight a series of shows that run until Sunday, October 13. For a schedule and pricing go to ameliaislandjazzfestival.com. Or call ’em at 904/504-4772. Tonight, Friday, October 4, The Amelia Blues Project will perform from 6-8 p.m. for the final Sounds on Centre of the year, on the two blocks between Front Street and 2nd Street.